Working with adult families of origin: On the nature of rupture and repair

Abstract

In this paper, we report on findings from a three-part enquiry into the essence of working with families of origin where all members are adult. Findings, in conversational form, describe the nature of adult family ruptures encountered, pathways to repair and unique factors associated with the therapeutic encounter with adult families relative to those with still dependent children. In exploring emergent themes, we hoped to come to some understandings of the models and unique skill sets that characterise and enhance family therapy with adult families. We found that, unlike families with younger children, adult children are often the more motivated sub-system and indeed the drivers of a referral for therapy. The therapeutic focus centred around legacy work from prior unresolved family traumas or disrupted developmental processes. Features of the therapeutic process included supporting new and more proportional narratives about ingrained wounds, together with redefinition of caregiving relationships and a future gaze towards becoming an independent yet connected family structure. We consider the therapist's posture in validating the adult child's experience, contextualising parent histories and clearing emotional barriers that block healthy giving and receiving of care. Key decision points in the therapist's work included how to balance the past context of the rupture with its current legacy, and the place of exoneration versus forgiveness in the progression towards secure individuation. Findings may help refine therapeutic methods in the application of systemic therapies with adult family forms, particularly on the intersection with the adult mental health system.