Fat fuckers and fat fucking: a feminine ethic of care in sex therapy

ABSTRACT Through the regulation of both femininity and fatness, dominant norms in queer communities construct fatness and femininity as excessive, desexualised/hypersexualised, and undeserving of sexual desire, pleasure, and care. Care, as a feminine ethical stance emphasising relationality and interdependency, is not typically associated with fucking, yet is critical in sex therapeutic work and interventions. In this article, we contend that fat scholarship, femme theory, and care ethics offer productive intersections in terms of crafting an ethic of care in sex therapy practice and activism for fat bodies of all genders. Using the example of the Fat Fuckers workshop developed in Ontario, Canada, offered internationally and online, this article describes how sex therapeutic work that combines fat activism, care, community building and relationality works at the intersections of femme theory, fat studies, and care ethics. This article combines theory with praxis by describing the Fat Fuckers workshop as a form of fat activism that simultaneously promotes fat identification and care for fat bodies in sex therapy while illustrating a nuanced form of feminine relationality for fat subjects and sexualities. Through this, practical tips are described for practitioners (e.g. sex therapists, activists and sex workers) with theoretical implications for sexuality scholars.