‘We carry on living in this othered world’: An interpretative phenomenological analysis of lesbian/queer co-mothers' relationships with professional support

Abstract

This paper explores how experiences of support within the helping professions influence non-birth and/or non-gestational lesbian/queer co-mothers' understanding of their maternal identity. Drawing on Park's (2013) concept of monomaternalism, we explore how established norms of families as consisting of two biological opposite-sex parents impacted participating mothers. Five nonbiological and/or non-carrying/gestational mothers who had formed a family within a lesbian/queer couple relationship took part in the study. An interpretative phenomenological analysis approach (Smith et al., 2009) was used. Three themes are explored: (1) co-mothers' experiences of normativity in professional encounters; (2) co-mothers' co-creation of their maternal selves; and (3) tension between the co-mother's constructed identity and the professional systems involved with her family. The study invites family therapists and systemic practitioners working with co-mothers and their families to consider the impact of heteronormativity and monomaternalism on their work. We hope to enrich understanding, broaden complexity and encourage practitioners to seek out and allow small and subjugated discourses to protect and include co-mothers and LGBTQ+ families.