The Merry affair: etiquette, politics, and diplomacy in the early republic

Abstract

ABSTRACT On 2 December 1803, President Thomas Jefferson threw a dinner party at the White House. In violation of diplomatic etiquette, when dinner was called Jefferson offered his hand to Dolley Madison, the wife of the Secretary of State, rather than to Elizabeth Merry, the wife of the newly appointed British minister. The incident sparked a social war. In response to the ensuing controversy, Jefferson hurriedly wrote out his Canons of Etiquette, describing a radical, new form of American etiquette that marked an important step forward in the United States’ quest for sovereignty and equality with the nations of Europe.