如果外表能杀人

Karen Chan
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摘要

对我来说,节奏意味着连贯性。这篇文章突出了我自己因COVID-19而扰乱日常节奏的经历。前半部分是我在新冠疫情前的日常生活和互动,后半部分是我现在的经历。在感染病毒之前,我的日常生活充满了噪音。日子过得很快,我建立起了每天的节奏。然而,当COVID-19传播时,一切都改变了。我觉得我再也没有例行公事了,因为我不被允许去任何地方。时间过得慢多了,最糟糕的是,仇外情绪正在以惊人的速度增长。作为一个华裔加拿大人,这是我第一次真正感受到自己肤色的重要性。COVID-19改变了我一直认为我的肤色不是陌生人会特别关心的事情的方式。然而,当我上公共汽车时,我无意中吓到了一个女人,仅仅因为我的肤色。从那时起,我知道仇外心理会影响人们每天对我的看法。那个女人害怕病毒——反过来,病毒也害怕我——我害怕她会因为我是中国人而对我发火。如果眼神能杀人,那么讽刺的是,我和那个女人都互相畏惧。现在,由于新冠肺炎,我正在适应新的生活。在这里,肤色比任何声音都响亮。
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If Looks Could Kill
For me, rhythm means having consistency. The piece highlights my own experience with the disruption of my daily rhythm due to COVID-19. The first half shows my routine and interactions prior to COVID-19 while the second half shows my experiences in the present day. Prior to the virus, I had a day to day routine that was filled with noise. Everyday moved quickly and I established a daily rhythm. However, when COVID-19 spread, it changed everything. I felt like I didn’t have a routine anymore because I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. Time was moving much slower and worst of all, xenophobia was growing at a significant rate. As a Chinese Canadian, this was the first time I truly felt the weight of the color of my skin. COVID-19 changed the way that I consistently assumed that the color of my skin wasn’t something that strangers would significantly care about. However, as I got on a bus, I unintentionally scared a woman simply because of my skin color. From that point, I knew that xenophobia would affect the way people perceived me everyday. The woman was scared of the virus— which in turn was scared of me—and I was scared that she would thwart her anger towards me because I am Chinese. If looks could kill, then the woman and I ironically both feared each other. Now, due to COVID-19, I am adapting to a new routine. A routine where the color of skin rings louder than any other sound.
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Indigenous and Latinx Youth Navigating the COVID-19 Pandemic Editorial (Vol. 4, 2021) Black Like Me, Like We reversed, mirrored, selfie An Answer I Don't Know I Know
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