COVENANTS AND PARTNERSHIPS: PASTORAL COUNSELING WITH WOMEN IN LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS

Several years ago I invited a group of seminary students who self-identified as lesbians or bisexuals to my home for conversation. I explained that I had been approached about writing a book for pastoral counselors who worked with women in lesbian relationships. After sharing some of my initial thoughts, the discussion quickly shifted to their concerns about what is important for pastoral counselors to know about lesbian relationships. Many of these women were strong in their feminist perspectives and struggled with traditional understandings of religion and the institutional church. The conversation was lively and passionate. Initially the students asked why I was undertaking such a project. They were not concerned about my integrity or my underlying motives for writing the book, but were perplexed by other questions: Why would lesbians who feel excluded from the church or who have difficulties relating to traditional patriarchal religion approach a pastoral counselor for care and counseling? What would make women who love women trust that pastoral caregivers could hear the depth of their pain, struggle, or concern? Do the faith traditions out of which pastoral counselors come have anything to offer to women in lesbian partnerships? The students were baffled, not by the subject of the book, but by its relevance for the audience of pastoral care specialists. Eventually several women acknowledged that they would have been helped by pastoral care specialists who were sensitive to their issues. Believing that many women struggle with issues of sexuality and spirituality, faith and lesbian identity, I began to pull together a book proposal that would speak to pastoral counselors about the complexities of lesbian relationships. The desire to be in conversation with the language and resources of the Judeo-Christian tradition led me to work from a pastoral theological perspective. My hope is that this work explicitly benefits those pastoral counselors who counsel women in lesbian relationships. If it accomplishes this task, the book will also benefit those women who venture forth and take the risk of approaching pastoral care specialists.