A Semi-Personal Story from a Ukrainian NGO Professional (or a Semi-Professional Story from a Ukrainian Person) Living through the War

10 Narrative Inquiry in Bioethics • Volume 13 • Number 3 • Winter 2023 Medicine, Loyola University Chicago, for motivating and providing us with strong support, and for her editorial work on this narrative. B A Semi-Personal Story from a Ukrainian NGO Professional (or a Semi-Professional Story from a Ukrainian Person) Living through the War Yuliya Nogovitsyna I live in Kyiv with my husband and two daughters . On 24 February 2022, my husband woke me up at 5 am tapping me on the shoulder and saying, “Yulia, wake up. There are bombings outside . The war started”. That day was our younger daughter’s birthday. She turned six. We had planned a birthday party for her with friends, cake, candles and birthday gifts. Instead, we had to move both daughters to the bathroom where there are no windows so that broken glass did not hurt them if a missile hit. I am the Program Director at Tabletochki Charity Foundation, Ukraine’s largest childhood cancer NGO (https:/ /tabletochki.org/en/). For 11 years before the war, we have been fostering childhood cancer care in Ukraine—through our direct assistance to families, support of pediatric oncology units, professional development of medical personnel , and advocacy. The Russian invasion of Ukraine in February 2022 dramatically changed the healthcare system landscape in Ukraine. The physical threat, treatment disruption, exposure of immunosuppressed patients to improper conditions in bomb shelters and cellars, interruption in supplies, infrastructure damage, logistics failure, and funding constraints have been among the most manifested immediate and deferred implications of the war for the healthcare system in Ukraine. That said, the biggest professional challenge was uncertainty and inability to plan. You have nothing to rely on in developing at least a short-term strategy. This may sound speculative and unimportant (who bothers about uncertainty when there is a physical threat to your life?) But this is a wrong perception—uncertainty paralyzes and disables long before a bullet or missile reaches you. War also brings the collapse of relationships, partnerships, and coalitions. It depletes and limits resources, whether human, financial, or emotional. Scarce resources make hospitals, healthcare professionals , and NGOs compete for patients, donors, and financing. The war and the external threat unite only for a short period of emergency response. Once the situation transitions to a protracted conflict, people and institutions start fighting for their own survival. My family stayed in Ukraine but moved to Lviv, a city in Western Ukraine, which turned into an evacuation hub for children with cancer. More than 1,000 children with cancer were evacuated and referred for treatment abroad through the SAFER Ukraine collaborative initiative by St. Jude Global, Tabletochki, West-Ukrainian Specialized Children’s Medical Center (WUSCMC), and other international and local partners. During the first months of the war, we worked hand-in-hand day and night to bring critically ill children to safety and treatment. We sent evacuation convoys from Lviv to Poland twice a week, the largest one with 71 families, included four buses and 11 ambulances. We slept 4-5 hours per day. Within two weeks, my hands and legs were trembling from constant tension, concentration, and tiredness. And even this extremely fast-responding and effective evacuation may be questioned. We have been facing an ethical dilemma—whether the safety needs of the existing patients prevail over the needs of future patients in diagnostics and treatment in Ukraine. We discussed more than once whether we should stop evacuation and referral of children to European hospitals to sustain the Ukrainian childhood cancer care system and prevent it from degradation . It is very uncomfortable to confront such questions. Could our heroic efforts to evacuate as manyUkrainianchildrenwithcanceraspossibleturn into an evil for future patients to come? By evacuating patients, we left pediatric oncology units empty, without work for Ukrainian pediatric oncologists, andtheusualpathwaysfordiagnosticsandtreatment  Healthcare Under Fire: Stories from Healthcare Workers During Armed Conflict 11 weredisrupted.Ahealthcaresystemwithoutpatients is like a cardiovascular system without blood. My family returned to Kyiv in August 2022 for our daughters to continue their schooling. There were (and still are) only five to seven kids in a class; other children left Ukraine or switched to online studies. My husband and I decided that our children will attend...