Relational Maintenance for Separated Latina/o/x/e Immigrant Parents and Their Children: A Focus on Primary Caregivers as Communication Gatekeepers

Latina/o/x/e families who experience migration-related separation face the heart-wrenching decision to live apart from each other, often to obtain better life opportunities for the entire family. In these situations, children live in a country separate from one or more parents, while a primary caregiver (e.g., the other parent, a grandmother, an aunt) looks after the children. Utilizing semi-structured interview data with 20 family triads (i.e., separated parent, separated child, primary caregiver) and drawing from the long-distance relational maintenance model (LDRMM), this study explores how primary caregivers help or impede separated parents and children’s relational maintenance, while living apart in two different countries. Prospectively, caregivers were usually tasked with the responsibility of informing the child and helping them understand the upcoming family separation. Introspectively, most primary caregivers facilitated relational maintenance by directly connecting the child with the parent, providing the resources for the two parties to communicate (e.g., cellphone, WIFI), and emphasizing the benefits of the separation. Retrospectively, primary caregivers helped the children understand the separated parents’ return; however, this often came at the expense of the primary caregiver feeling forgotten or overlooked by the child.