Being with uncertainty: A reflective account of a personal relationship with an asylum seeker/refugee

Background:Violent political instability in countries such as Syria has seen the worldwide number of forcibly displaced people rise to levels not seen since World War 2, with over 150,000 asylum seekers and refugees hosted in the UK alone (UNHCR, 2015). Despite this figure, many UK residents have only a limited understanding of the experience of seeking asylum.Content & Focus:This article features a reflective account of the author’s experience of being in a relationship with an asylum seeker/refugee in the UK. It begins with the author’s reflections on the harsh asylum process and encourages those of us with a right to remain in the UK to consider how we would cope in such circumstances. Opportunities for personal and professional development that have arisen from the relationship are outlined, with particular emphasis on the experience of uncertainty and powerlessness. Finally, indignation at the inequalities faced by asylum seekers and refugees is presented as a catalyst for the development of a social justice agenda both within and beyond the therapy room.Conclusion:Being in a romantic relationship with an asylum seeker/refugee offers a unique vantage point to learn about the asylum process in depth. Furthermore, even such overtly challenging experiences can be transformed into opportunities for personal and professional growth, including the development of a social justice agenda in our counselling psychology practice.