Jointly Negotiated Conflict Resolution Strategies of Couples in Long-Term Marriages: A Qualitative Study

Many studies have looked at the conflict resolution styles individuals bring into marriage, but scant evidence exists in the area of the conflict resolution strategies developed over time by long-term couples. This study introduces the idea of jointly negotiated conflict resolution strategies (JNCRS) in long-term couples. For the study, 1112 individuals married 40 + years born in 48 countries were recruited. Semi-structured in-depth interviews were conducted with 180 individuals (90 couples), and 932 coupled individuals responded to an online survey. Interpretive phenomenological analysis (IPA) and content analysis were used in this qualitative study. Six of the primary JNCRS employed by couples are discussed: listen, avoid conflict, communicate well, compromise, resolve quickly, cool down. Three of these—listen, avoid conflict, and communicate well—encompassed 43% of the strategies proffered. Negotiation of JNCRS involved change over time, acknowledging conflict styles based on parental modelling, acknowledging cultural influences, and acceptance. Couple therapists can use this evidence in their work with distressed couples to discuss the content and process of jointly negotiated conflict resolution strategies for each unique relationship situation.