“That Is What We Have Left of Her”: The Significance of Transitional Objects After the Death of an Infant in a Norwegian Context

When an infant dies in a neonatal intensive care unit in Norway, healthcare professionals provide bereaved parents with objects intended to help them processing their loss. Such objects can be clothes, blankets, soft animal toys, hand- and footprints, hair, as well as scrapbooks where the short life is documented through text and photo. By interviewing bereaved parents in three focus groups, we investigated the parents’ use of these objects. Applying the method of reflexive thematic analysis, we developed three themes from the data material: (i) the importance of preserving objects, (ii) the approach to the objects, and (iii) the ambivalence concerning the objects. Pertinent to all themes was the parents’ feeling of ambivalence toward the objects. On the one hand, the parents experienced the objects to affirm parenthood and manifest that the infant existed as a family member. Further, the objects were important in ritualization while according the child its status as deceased. Also, the objects helped the bereaved establish and keep continuing bonds with the deceased and to integrate their traumatic experience of losing a child. On the other hand, the bereaved parents shared that they were ambivalent toward the objects as they stirred up both good and painful emotions. The objects reminded them of their shocking and traumatic loss and the bereaved did not want to be confronted with this all the time. Therefore, through a preference for some objects and indifference toward others as time passed, the parents worked on transforming their bonds with the lost infant.