{"title":"这不是我的错,是你的错:羞耻,失落,以及对收养夫妇的自我理想","authors":"S. Cregeen","doi":"10.1080/0075417X.2022.2075433","DOIUrl":null,"url":null,"abstract":"ABSTRACT Work with adoptive parents can be complex due to the multiple experiences of loss often carried by the adopted children and by the adoptive parental couple. This paper explores some of the emotional states and dynamics these experiences of loss give rise to, with a specific focus on the parental couple relationship. The case is made for the efficacy of psychotherapy with the couple, the difficulties of managing losses which can generate feelings of shame, and the projective use of blame within the couple and family as a way of evacuating unbearable emotional states. The concept of ego ideal is reviewed, and the need for adoptive couples to relinquish and mourn what is conceptualised as a shared ego ideal. The creation of a more realistic ego ideal is described as a particular aspect of the process of moving from the couple imagining themselves as birth parents, to their aspirations as an adoptive couple. Clinical material is used to illustrate how shame may manifest itself in an adopted child in psychotherapy, and in work with adoptive couples. The inevitably painful nature of mourning, and work with a couple struggling with this, is described.","PeriodicalId":43581,"journal":{"name":"JOURNAL OF CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPY","volume":null,"pages":null},"PeriodicalIF":0.4000,"publicationDate":"2022-05-04","publicationTypes":"Journal Article","fieldsOfStudy":null,"isOpenAccess":false,"openAccessPdf":"","citationCount":"0","resultStr":"{\"title\":\"It’s not my fault, it’s yours: shame, loss, and the ego ideal in work with adoptive couples\",\"authors\":\"S. Cregeen\",\"doi\":\"10.1080/0075417X.2022.2075433\",\"DOIUrl\":null,\"url\":null,\"abstract\":\"ABSTRACT Work with adoptive parents can be complex due to the multiple experiences of loss often carried by the adopted children and by the adoptive parental couple. This paper explores some of the emotional states and dynamics these experiences of loss give rise to, with a specific focus on the parental couple relationship. The case is made for the efficacy of psychotherapy with the couple, the difficulties of managing losses which can generate feelings of shame, and the projective use of blame within the couple and family as a way of evacuating unbearable emotional states. The concept of ego ideal is reviewed, and the need for adoptive couples to relinquish and mourn what is conceptualised as a shared ego ideal. The creation of a more realistic ego ideal is described as a particular aspect of the process of moving from the couple imagining themselves as birth parents, to their aspirations as an adoptive couple. Clinical material is used to illustrate how shame may manifest itself in an adopted child in psychotherapy, and in work with adoptive couples. The inevitably painful nature of mourning, and work with a couple struggling with this, is described.\",\"PeriodicalId\":43581,\"journal\":{\"name\":\"JOURNAL OF CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPY\",\"volume\":null,\"pages\":null},\"PeriodicalIF\":0.4000,\"publicationDate\":\"2022-05-04\",\"publicationTypes\":\"Journal Article\",\"fieldsOfStudy\":null,\"isOpenAccess\":false,\"openAccessPdf\":\"\",\"citationCount\":\"0\",\"resultStr\":null,\"platform\":\"Semanticscholar\",\"paperid\":null,\"PeriodicalName\":\"JOURNAL OF CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPY\",\"FirstCategoryId\":\"1085\",\"ListUrlMain\":\"https://doi.org/10.1080/0075417X.2022.2075433\",\"RegionNum\":0,\"RegionCategory\":null,\"ArticlePicture\":[],\"TitleCN\":null,\"AbstractTextCN\":null,\"PMCID\":null,\"EPubDate\":\"\",\"PubModel\":\"\",\"JCR\":\"Q4\",\"JCRName\":\"PSYCHOLOGY, CLINICAL\",\"Score\":null,\"Total\":0}","platform":"Semanticscholar","paperid":null,"PeriodicalName":"JOURNAL OF CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPY","FirstCategoryId":"1085","ListUrlMain":"https://doi.org/10.1080/0075417X.2022.2075433","RegionNum":0,"RegionCategory":null,"ArticlePicture":[],"TitleCN":null,"AbstractTextCN":null,"PMCID":null,"EPubDate":"","PubModel":"","JCR":"Q4","JCRName":"PSYCHOLOGY, CLINICAL","Score":null,"Total":0}
It’s not my fault, it’s yours: shame, loss, and the ego ideal in work with adoptive couples
ABSTRACT Work with adoptive parents can be complex due to the multiple experiences of loss often carried by the adopted children and by the adoptive parental couple. This paper explores some of the emotional states and dynamics these experiences of loss give rise to, with a specific focus on the parental couple relationship. The case is made for the efficacy of psychotherapy with the couple, the difficulties of managing losses which can generate feelings of shame, and the projective use of blame within the couple and family as a way of evacuating unbearable emotional states. The concept of ego ideal is reviewed, and the need for adoptive couples to relinquish and mourn what is conceptualised as a shared ego ideal. The creation of a more realistic ego ideal is described as a particular aspect of the process of moving from the couple imagining themselves as birth parents, to their aspirations as an adoptive couple. Clinical material is used to illustrate how shame may manifest itself in an adopted child in psychotherapy, and in work with adoptive couples. The inevitably painful nature of mourning, and work with a couple struggling with this, is described.
期刊介绍:
The Journal of Child Psychotherapy is the official journal of the Association of Child Psychotherapists, first published in 1963. It is an essential publication for all those with an interest in the theory and practice of psychoanalytic psychotherapy and work with infants, children, adolescents and their parents where there are emotional and psychological problems. The journal also deals with the applications of such theory and practice in other settings or fields The Journal is concerned with a wide spectrum of emotional and behavioural disorders. These range from the more severe conditions of autism, anorexia, depression and the traumas of emotional, physical and sexual abuse to problems such as bed wetting and soiling, eating difficulties and sleep disturbance.