(De)Colonial Positioning

Swedish–Danish border, 2009 Shortly before my father passed away, my mother and I took him on a car journey from Sweden to Denmark. We had a nice day in an art gallery by the sea, looked at big houses in the countryside and had a Danish lunch. Approaching the bridge on our way back, going through customs we were waved over to stop. I was driving. My father sat next to me in the front seat. My mother sat behind me. I rolled down the window to hear the policeman. He looked at me, looked at my father and lastly looked at my mother in the back seat. In Swedish, he asked her where we had been, where we were going, what our nationality was. The policeman addressed my mother behind me. It was an awkward conversation. My father sat silent, looking down into his lap, until we were allowed to carry on. I was furious, but knew I would upset my father if I made a scene. For the remaining car journey, I wondered what these interactions had done to the relationship between my parents, my Tamil father and my Danish mother.