Demoralizing care: Moral and ethical dilemmas of parenting a young adult who lives with a borderline diagnosis

This article theorizes chronic crises of care parents face concerning how to morally/ethically support their young adult child diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Grounded in five years’ attendance at a support group for families living with BPD and interviews with parents, the article asks: In the era of deinstitutionalization of those with mental illness, what are the moral/ethical dimensions of parents’ experiences caring for their young adult? The concept of demoralization and “moral breakdown,” an ethical crisis demanding a resolution, characterizes parents’ experiences. The parents featured convey anguished struggles over what they ought to do in a context where risks are high, and nothing parents do seems right. I suggest that dwelling indefinitely in demoralizing care is untenable and that a state of demoralization emerges as a testimony to the parents’ inability to identify a morally/ethically acceptable resolution to the crises of care.