Human Existence

Abstract

paper. Its verb and subject were t.otally covered while the dir.ect object was screaming for help. Tun.llng to leave, I saw .that q\lestlOl1 marks were swinging in the lower h.mbs of the trees with then' tops hooked around the branches. Passing underneath, we heard them whine "Why? Where? How?" In the second circle, we entered a forest whose trees were gnarled and stunted. From each tree dangled a modifier, craning its verbal for a noun or pronoun to modify. Then I noticed a squinting modifier which reminded me of the cheshire eat's squinting eyes in Alice in Wonderland. Each time a dangling modifier would raise its head, the squinting modifier would cry out something unintelligible. In the middle of the circle, a constant rain of compound-complex sentences fell, forming a slush. As these sentences broke apart, a possessive noun walked among them using a prepositional phrase to violently split the infinitives. The journey had inflamed my inflectional nerves. Webster, seeing that I recognized my sins, showed me the passage to the Mount of Precise Grammar. He explained that I would have to improve my writing or suffer the consequences that would await me in Hell. Happy to be out of the valley, I set out with a renewed determination to climb the mount as a better writer.