The hummingbird & me: Experiences with shattering as a settler educator and emerging scholar

Katherine A. Koskie
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Abstract

I explore my experiences as a settler teacher and emerging scholar by unpacking time and place in the short children’s story The Little Hummingbird by Michael Nicoll Yahgaulanaas. I demonstrate my understanding with a hyperlapse video of traditional beading, a skill taught to me by local Indigenous Elders. I begin to unpack myself and others by centering myself as the hummingbird, the protagonist of the short story who continues to put drops of water on a raging forest fire, even though it will not put out the flames. In this retelling, I problematically view myself as a settler hero who is doing “good”, ignoring the ongoing nature of colonialism and the benefits I gain from the hierarchy of relations in Canada. In the second retelling, I become the fire destroying the forest. I recount the shattering of my settler-as-hero self-proclaimed identity, and begin to accept how I am complicit in colonial violence towards Indigenous peoples. By watching my hands work the pattern and beads, I physically depict the slow work necessary for arriving at the actualization of bigger possibilities for settler teachers and emerging scholars, like a hummingbird with a drop of water to douse fire.
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《蜂鸟与我:作为定居者、教育家和新兴学者的破碎经历》
我通过阅读Michael Nicoll Yahgaulanaas的短篇儿童故事《小蜂鸟》来探索我作为一名移民教师和新兴学者的经历。我用一段超缩视频展示了我对传统串珠的理解,这是当地土著长老教给我的一项技能。我开始以蜂鸟为中心来解开自己和他人的包裹,蜂鸟是这个短篇故事的主角,尽管它不能扑灭熊熊大火,但它仍在不断地往熊熊大火上洒水。在这个复述中,我有问题地认为自己是一个做“好事”的定居者英雄,忽视了殖民主义的持续本质和我从加拿大的等级关系中获得的好处。在第二次复述中,我变成了毁灭森林的大火。我讲述了自己自称为“定居者英雄”的身份的破碎,并开始接受自己是如何参与对土著人民的殖民暴力的。通过观察我的手在图案和珠子上的工作,我在身体上描绘了定居者教师和新兴学者实现更大可能性所必需的缓慢工作,就像蜂鸟用一滴水浇火一样。
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