Gay Wellbeing in the Life after 377: My Quest for Forming a Sustainable Community

Mukul Sarma
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Abstract

My letter in the Assam Tribune (‘Life after 377’, September 22, 2018) raises some issues of a sexual minority called the gay community.  One of the completely unaddressed problems of gays of Assam is their ‘deteriorating mental health as they hide among heterosexuals having the similar gender expressions of heterosexuals, bearing utter suppression, self-loathing, denial and fear’. This ‘most discriminated, stigmatized and fearful’ community has seen a glimpse of dignity and hope after the Supreme Court’s verdict on September 6, 2018, that decriminalized consensual gay-sex. However, it seems, no policy is framed so far for the wellbeing of this community. The paper explores challenges of hidden gay youths-that I have realized communicating and counselling some of them-to conform to their true sexuality as they have been growing in a strict heteronormative milieu suppressing and often ignoring their true sexual desire owing to severe peer, family and societal pressure and lack of sensitization in a gay friendly atmosphere where they could access to some solid references of Assamese gays living truthful, happy life with their gay life-partners. This gay group have members in their mid-twenties,   near thirty and in the thirties. They have dated girls, and have been forming heterosexual dreams of starting a family marrying a girl since adolescence; hence, have realised their gay desire quite late. The paper tries to capture their conflicts in the realisation of their true-self; that they still try to deny; and hence, move towards entering a bisexual life with sighs of loss, helplessness and confusions. All of them have been in depression or other psychiatric illnesses-mild to noticeable-which some of them have admitted to having gone through. A majority of them have lost the urge of competing for earning; and hence, financially dependent on the family, although almost all of them have a graduate degree and above. However, there is hardly any psychiatric intervention for promoting their mental health due to their own ignorance and stigma, raising some questions: Will they be able to make a new family happy after marriage? , Should we support the heterosexual marriage of gays? , What is the way out, if not?
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《377年后同性恋的幸福生活:我对建立可持续社区的追求》
我在《阿萨姆邦论坛报》(2018年9月22日的《377年后的生活》)上的信提出了一些关于性少数群体——同性恋群体的问题。阿萨姆邦同性恋者的一个完全没有解决的问题是,他们“心理健康状况不断恶化,因为他们躲在异性恋者中间,他们的性别表达与异性恋者相似,受到彻底的压制、自我厌恶、否认和恐惧”。2018年9月6日,美国最高法院宣布两厢情愿的同性性行为合法化后,这个“最受歧视、最被污名化、最令人恐惧”的群体看到了一丝尊严和希望。然而,到目前为止,似乎还没有为这个社区的福祉制定政策。这篇论文探讨了隐藏的同性恋青年所面临的挑战——我已经意识到这一点——与他们中的一些人进行沟通和咨询,以符合他们真实的性取向,因为他们在一个严格的异性恋规范的环境中成长,由于严重的同伴、家庭和社会压力,以及在一个同性恋友好的氛围中缺乏敏感,他们可以获得一些可靠的参考,阿萨姆邦同性恋与他们的同性恋伴侣过着真实、幸福的生活,他们压抑并经常忽视自己真实的性欲望。这个同性恋团体的成员有25岁左右、30岁左右和30多岁。他们和女孩约会,从青春期开始就形成了和女孩结婚成家的异性恋梦想;因此,很晚才实现自己的同性恋欲望。本文试图捕捉他们在实现真实自我过程中的矛盾;他们仍然试图否认;因此,带着失落、无助和困惑的叹息,迈向双性恋的生活。他们都患有抑郁症或其他精神疾病——轻微到明显——其中一些人已经承认经历过。他们中的大多数人已经失去了为赚钱而竞争的冲动;因此,他们在经济上依赖于家庭,尽管几乎所有人都有研究生及以上学位。然而,由于他们自己的无知和耻辱,几乎没有任何精神病学干预来促进他们的心理健康,这引发了一些问题:他们结婚后能让新的家庭幸福吗?我们应该支持同性恋者的异性婚姻吗?如果没有出路,出路是什么?
本文章由计算机程序翻译,如有差异,请以英文原文为准。
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