專科生死亡體驗活動之遺囑撰寫作為生命意義實踐：存在現象學分析

Abstract

研究探討（1）死亡逼近下的感受、（2）遺囑之生命意義實踐及（3）因死而生意義實踐之經驗結構。以存在現象學方法分析26份專四生參與死亡體驗活動所產生的遺囑與心得。遺囑內容呈現出兩結果、兩世界、兩面向之生命意義實踐：（1）完成意義實踐：完成此世存有，安頓此世自己（完成自我夢想與自我修練）、安頓此世人倫（完成或延續對父母之感謝、感恩和報恩，對朋友、戀人與手足之相互關懷；及時解開心結、完成感恩與彌補愧疚）、投入死後世界（安頓自己後事與修行；跨越生死兩界延續人倫）。（2）未完成意義實踐：此世遺憾（未能安頓自己－人生沒目標；）（未能安頓人倫－沒完整的家）、投入死後世界（寄望來生能安頓自己）。心得呈現出避開死與接受死兩趨向，前者僅部分出現因死而轉的意義實踐，後者全部出現。整體活動使人深刻體驗存有之可畏，繼而出現自我在苦中之移動，啟動生命意義轉化，展開向生向死之雙重意義實踐，承擔起自我命運與他人之苦的責任。本研究據此提出「因死與苦而生成之意義實踐：為我與為他之雙重開展」模式，並建議後續研究進一步具體化與精緻化。  The purpose of this study is to explore (a) feelings when facing death, (b) meanings practice for life, and (c) the experiential structure of the meaning practice induced by death. This study adopts the existential phenomenological approach to analyze wills and reflection-after-participation transcripts written by twenty-six college students who participated in an experiential activity of facing-death. The content of will transcripts indicates the practice of three dimensions with dual characteristics when the participants faced death: outcome (meaning transformation or not), worlds (being-in-this-life-world and the post-death world), and subjects (self and others). (1) Participants who presented the fulfillment of meaning conversion tried to establish harmony in relations not only with the two subjects but also in the two worlds. For themselves in being-in-this-life-world, participants arranged to care for themselves by fulfilling dreams and practicing self-improvement. Meanwhile, for others, practices adopted to care for persons who have had in this life world are as follows: being grateful for parents and paying a debt of gratitude; giving and enjoying mutual caring between siblings, friends, and lovers; and expressing apologies or regrets to those who have experienced harm and then tried to restore relationships. As for the post-death world, practices taken to deal with both the two subjects and the two worlds include making plans of their own funeral, afterlife spiritual practice, and arrangement of care for others across the worlds of life and death. (2) Individuals who failed to present thoughts related to meaning transformation showed regrets both for their lives and for relationships with others in being-in-this-life-world. Nevertheless, they still remained a glimmer of hope in the afterlife, such as finding their own goals of life in the afterlife. The results of reflection transcripts revealed two approaches to death: acceptance and avoidance. All individuals accepting death presented meaning transformation; however, only part of death-avoidance individuals described the transformation. In sum, the facing-death activity facilitates individuals to start a journal of the transformation of meaning for life: Participants profoundly experienced the awe of existence and the emerged suffering. Their selves are immersed in and moving among multiple modes of suffering. Individuals then start to unfold the meanings and started practices of life toward both the two subjects and the two worlds. Individuals assume responsibilities for their own life and others’ suffering in harmony with their expectations. This study proposed a theoretical model based on research findings—the model of the meaning practice induced by facing death and suffering: A dual unfolding for oneself and others. It is recommended that the applications of this study and follow-up research are needed to enrich and refine the model.