Stuttering as an act of love

Abstract

For us to love each other we must first know each other. We come to know each other through communication, the purpose of which is communion. Traditionally, we think of stuttering as impairing this communion. Stuttering prevents us from sharing ourselves with others by distorting our message and increasing the effort it takes for us to speak. This need not be the case. Our stuttering is as much a part of us as any other attribute. For others to know us deeply, they must also know our stuttering. Likewise, for us to know others, we must know how they react to us – all of us – including our stuttering. In this paper, I propose that by stuttering openly and sincerely we share more of ourselves with others and, therefore, enter a deeper communion than would be possible if we hid our disfluencies. Stuttering introduces vulnerability into our conversations that would be absent had we been fluent. This vulnerability, when reciprocated, allows for intimacy. Research demonstrates that our stuttering impacts us less negatively when we are more open and speak with more spontaneity. By embracing our stutters, we not only lessen the negative impact of stuttering, but we also increase our ability to know, and therefore, love each other.