Love and marriage.

Abstract

In spite of an influx of Western propaganda concerning the superiority of marriages based on love, a 1994 opinion poll of 1715 adults in 5 urban centers in India found that 74% of men and women believe arranged marriages are more likely to succeed. Self-arranged marriages without the consent or participation of parents are rejected by most Indians due to the isolation from family support that will ensue should the marriage fail. If an arranged marriage develops problems, all members of the extended family network rally around to help find solutions. Similarly, most women who experience domestic violence in a marriage arranged by their parents are assured of shelter with their family. Proponents of arranged marriages note that in the West, where partners are selected on the basis of love, spousal abuse is no less common than in India and the infatuation and sexual attraction that form the basis of the marriage are time-limited. Compatibility--the basis of enduring marriages--is more likely when both partners respect each other's family and cultural background and are from the same kinship group. For arranged marriages to be fully secure, however, the following conditions should exist: female economic self-sufficiency, the husband's commitment to family responsibility, compatibility and respect between in-laws, community norms against abusive behavior on the part of husbands, stigma against men divorcing their wife for a younger woman, and commitment on the part of the wife's family to support here financially and emotionally if she faces domestic violence.