Book Review: IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the integration of self, identity, and belonging

Abstract

IntraConnected is an inspiring guidebook that supports readers in waking up from separation and isolation and invites them to a broader sense of belonging and connection. In the book, Dan Siegel identifies the pandemic of separation that modern Western society is experiencing and walks the reader through the causes of such separation and how we can move towards a more integrative way of living together here on earth. Using a wide variety of perspectives from modern science to Indigenous wisdom, this book is for anyone who feels the call to reduce polarization and hyperindividualism and explore the possibilities of our intrinsic connection allowing us to move forward in a united way. Siegel begins by defining what it means to be IntraConnected. While interconnection is when one feels connected to something else, Siegel shares that IntraConnection is “a connectedness within a whole – a sense of wholeness experienced from within” (p. 23). He proposes that currently many of us experience our “sense of self” as our body, a separate entity, and that this small sense of self has created a feeling of disconnection. Siegel suggests that integration, which honors each individual’s differences and cultivates linkages to our whole system, is a path to broadening our sense of self and thus feeling more connected to one another. Siegel clearly explains how our brains have two different modes or ways of being. He states that when the left mode is activated, we can perceive in an independent, linear, and narrower way making us feel like a solid, noun-like being. When the right mode is firing, a wider, interdependent, open perspective is present allowing us to experience ourselves as an unfolding, verb-like experience. Sharing the wisdom of Indigenous cultures from around the globe, Siegel echoes the need for wider awareness and its necessity in creating an “integrated identity” which he refers to as MWe, (Me +We) meaning the individual self + the relational self, creating a withinness to all of life. From conception to adulthood, each section of the book explores a stage of development revealing how we can attune to our IntraConnectedness. Siegel breaks down how freedom and uncertainty are correlated, how our early attachment styles inform our perceptions of reality, and how we as humans absorb new perspectives and learn. He emphasizes the cultivation of compassion, curiosity, and collaboration offering mnemonics and practical awareness tools. A beautiful point Siegel makes is that biodiversity is essential to creating adaptation and possibilities for the whole system, and therefore we shouldn’t learn to tolerate our differences but fully embrace them. Magnifying a diverse group of voices from climate activists to meditation teachers to quantum physicists, IntraConnected is a mind-expanding, approachable book on how to access a wider identity and a more integrated life. With a tone of humility and hopefulness, Siegel provides personal anecdotes, expertise, and a collection of insight from leaders from the past to the present. A call to action, this book is a roadmap for creating a collaborative, creative future not just for me or we, but for Mwe.