Patient patients: middle-aged British Pakistani women and the intuition of limits to care.

This paper examines the affective inequalities underpinning the extensive responsibilities of care that are shouldered by chronically ill -middle-aged British Pakistani women. In the context of ethnic health inequalities, chronic illness and premature ageing are ubiquitous. Further, mid-life generates gendered pinchpoints in the dynamics of care. The paper draws on extended conversations with women over seven/eight years and tracks their unsettled perspectives on sabar (patient endurance). Middle-aged women described how, over the long haul of living alongside chronic illness, they intuited that they must place some limits on caring for others, and that care required self-care - not in a biomedical sense, but in the sense of attention to their own bodily and relational needs. The paper extends anthropological critiques of Levinas's philosophy of infinite responsibilities to care, tracking how changes at several temporal scales - the life course, intergenerational re-negotiations - affect care. While social transformations of gender, and the proliferation of neoliberal discourses on self-care do affect the traction of normative notions of selfless care for others, the paper locates women's changing perspectives on sabar primarily in the provocations of everyday life.