"Suddenly Feeling Dark": A Qualitative Study on the Experiences of Nurses Facing Coworker Death During the COVID-19 Pandemic.

Background: The coworkers of nurses who died because of COVID-19 infection generally experience a highly emotional grieving process. Nurses grieving the loss of a coworker during the COVID-19 pandemic experience higher psychological stress because of their high workload and the grueling shifts required to manage health emergencies during the pandemic and cope with long-standing staffing shortages. The limited number of studies discussing this issue has resulted in insufficient evidence necessary to develop effective counseling strategies and psychological support for nurses in Indonesia dealing with the massive waves of COVID-19 cases.

Purpose: This study was designed to elucidate the experiences of nurses across four provinces in Indonesia who had experienced the loss of a colleague during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Methods: A qualitative research design and phenomenological approach were used in this study. Sampling was done in Jakarta, Bali, East Java, and East Nusa Tenggara using purposive sampling for the first eight participants and snowball sampling for the subsequent 34 participants. Semistructured, in-depth interviews were used to collect data from 30 participants using appropriate ethical principles. Data saturation was achieved after interviewing 23 participants, and their data were analyzed using thematic analysis.

Results: Three main themes related to nurses' responses to the death of a colleague, distinguished into several stages, were identified. Stages in the first theme were as follows: (a) shocked to hear of colleague's death, (b) self-blame for failing to save a life, and (c) afraid to experience the same situation. Stages in the second theme were as follows: (a) make efforts to avoid the same thing from happening again, (b) develop strategies to avoid thoughts of loss, and (c) expect to have a psychological support system. Stages in the third theme were as follows: (a) seek new reasons, goals, directions, and meanings in life and (b) improve the physical and social health of individuals.

Conclusions/implications for practice: The range of responses from nurses to the death of a colleague during the COVID-19 pandemic identified in this study may be referenced by service providers to better provide psychological assistance and support to nursing staff. In addition, the coping strategies described by the participants provide detailed information that healthcare providers may use to deal with nurses facing death more comprehensively. This study emphasizes the importance of developing strategies to help nurses cope positively with their grief from a holistic perspective, which may be expected to impact positively the performance of nurses.