Reflections on mortality and loss from HIV positive older gay men

Seven HIV positive older gay men (aged 40 and above) were interviewed about their experiences, with a focus on their confrontation with issues of mortality. Data were subjected to interpretative phenomenological analysis and are reported here as case studies. Participants spoke of multiple, major losses, primarily the loss of partners and friends to AIDS; some conceptualised the loss of friends as a loss of a collective history. Other losses included loss of employment, loss/abandonment of sexual relationships and loss of appearance-related self-esteem (due to lipodystrophy). Some men also referred to the difficulty of living with the unexpected additional life-span associated with anti-retroviral drugs