Unleashing gender: Dependency, subjectivity and recognition in dominant/submissive relationships

Within psychoanalysis, BDSM (bondage, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism) has typically been interpreted as pathological, resulting from the (gendered) tension between assertion and recognition developed in the oedipal phases and enforced in dominant ideology. To practitioners, however, BDSM recognises the physical and psychological dependence of people on each other. The tasks inherent to successful BDSM redefine traditional masculine and feminine identity; dominants recognise their own dependence and submissives are independently powerful. Expanding on feminist psychoanalytic theory, this paper argues that BDSM relations may embody the psychologically ideal state of ‘mutual recognition.’ Practitioners take pleasure in connection without the threat of engulfment. Significantly, the skills developed in BDSM may help mediate a variety of interpersonal and institutional power relations.