Intersubjective Discoveries on Parenting Autistic Sons: Challenges to Ableist, Normative Narratives of Deficit

Abstract This article argues that the deficit-based narrative surrounding autism, shaped by the historical context, is often internalized as ableism and unconscious bias, leading to autistic masking and poor mental health. Parent-child relationships develop within the milieu of this narrative, impacting the scripts of both individuals. Drawing on their experience as mothers and therapists, the authors examine the relationship between themselves and their autistic children, the mutuality of their experience, and its impact on their cocreated script. Vignettes are included throughout to illustrate the points made. Models of disability, ableism, and the history of autism research and clinical practice are integrated with TA theory, including script and ego states. The work of autistic authors, in particular Milton’s ideas of the double empathy problem, is used to support readers to challenge their unconscious bias and create space for authentic autistic expression.