What Are College Students Talking About When They Say They’re “Just Talking?”

The phrase “just talking” is ubiquitously used by emerging adults to describe amorous interactions. Despite the prevalence of this phrase in public discourse, little is known about what just talking means and whether it is simply popular slang for longstanding relationship patterns or marks a shift in romantic and sexual norms and behavior. We surveyed undergraduate students at a mid-sized university about just talking, then conducted focus groups to better contextualize the phenomenon. Participant responses were coded inductively and interpreted in the historical context of American courtship, contemporary social norms on campus, the developmental tasks of emerging adulthood, and shifting patterns of everyday interaction brought about by smartphone technology. We propose that just talking is a veiled courtship behavior that denies the intimacy it builds thereby meeting emerging adults’ needs for emotional intimacy in a social environment where speaking frankly about emotional connections and seeking stable romantic partnerships are stigmatized.