“Unless I could be like the typical dad”: Exploring parenthood through the perspective of the voluntarily childfree

Fertility rates have significantly declined in advanced, industrialized nations. The factors contributing to these swift demographic changes are diverse, but it is evident that women are opting for fewer children, delaying childbirth, and a growing number of individuals are choosing not to have children. Most studies on voluntary childlessness depict it as a growing phenomenon in Western societies and predict that the voluntary childless population will continue to increase. To explore this trend, examining individuals’ and couples’ fertility choices within the context of evolving parenting culture proves insightful. This study explores the concept of modern parenthood by interviewing 12 Icelandic voluntarily childfree individuals and five couples by examining the decision-making process associated with choosing not to have a child and exploring its connection to prevailing parenting norms. The Icelandic context provides an interesting research backdrop, given its emphasis on gender equality, diverse family structures, and policies that support both parents’ participation in work and childcare. The results indicate that women perceive the role of motherhood as mentally and emotionally draining, complex, and requiring significant personal sacrifices. This suggests that narratives of intensive mothering can directly influence and inform decisions on fertility in the Icelandic context where becoming a parent is seen as a choice, which can even stand in the way of personal fulfilment and autonomy. While the interviewees acknowledge the unequal responsibilities and duties of mothers and fathers, they do not question the individualism and intensity that characterize modern parenthood.