From crushes to squishes

Previous research on language, sexuality, and affect has focused primarily on the presence rather than the absence of desire. This analysis investigates the linguistic manifestations of non-desire on two subreddits: r/AskReddit and r/Asexual. Contrasting asexual redditors’ responses to threads such as When and how did you realize you were asexual? with straight, allosexual redditors’ responses to a thread titled Straight redditors, when did you realize you were straight?, I find that allosexual and asexual redditors’ responses differ in agency and emotionality. While straight allosexual redditors attribute their lack of homosexual desire to factors other than themselves, asexual redditors attribute their lack of allosexual desire to their own identity. Additionally, asexual redditors frame their realizations of their asexuality as processual and emotional, using feel and felt more often than straight allosexual redditors’ responses. These results expose the importance of emotionality – including lack of desire – as a resource for asexual identity construction.