Monitoring Pronouns in Conflicts

Abstract. Conflict communication represents a basic process for the quality of intimate relationships, which is fundamental to well-being over the lifespan. This study investigates the temporal unfolding of different relational perspectives during a conflict situation by monitoring pronoun use in young, middle-aged, and old couples within the theoretical framework of Gottman’s phases of conflict. Our results reveal different trajectories of “I”-, “you”-, and “we”-talk over a conflict conversation in both partners. These trajectories differ between females and males. Furthermore, “you”-talk and “we”-talk differed among the age groups over time. Understanding the temporal dynamics of marital communication as reflected by pronoun use seems promising for a better understanding of conflict related processes in couples over the lifespan.