The Limits of Love

If an emotional ethic like caritas was embodied, how did some come to engage in ‘deviant’ behaviours such as premarital sex and why did a society so enculturated in a Christian ethic come to have such a significant illegitimacy rate? This chapter uses a case study of servants and their sex lives to explore how people reconciled their ‘sinful’ behaviour with their commitment to caritas. It first looks at the ways in which individuals justified their romantic feelings that led to sex within the moral framework of the community, as well as those—especially men—who instead made a claim to human frailty as an excuse for misbehaviour. It then attends to how the community responded to such activities, particularly in making life uncomfortable and encouraging those who did not conform to move on. A final section looks at how sinners were restored to the community once they had reformed, especially attending to rituals of reconciliation and peace, including touch, kisses, and sharing food and drink.