Removing the armor: art, the fat body and vulnerability

ABSTRACT It feels transgressive to reveal what I am most scared to reveal, to share stories, vulnerability and sometimes “dirty laundry” in my writing. It can open me up to potential attack. But a few years ago, I realized that it was still safer for me to express my fat activism in written form. I made the decision to move from fat activism driven by writing, to include activism that explores fat embodiment through representation of my body in shibari (Japanese rope) performance, photography and visual art. I am now taking it a step further to reflect on the representation of my fat body in art. In this autoethnographic piece, I find that I have an ability to frame how a story is told, where to expose and reveal my body in ways that challenge what fat bodies are capable of doing, or how they “should” be visually represented, is a more vulnerable position for me as a fat activist. Self-protection and self-preservation would dictate that I keep myself hidden away. Revealing myself and my body, and becoming vulnerable by doing so, takes courage. It means putting aside the instincts of self-protection, to reveal aspects of myself so that others either see themselves reflected in my body, and take strength and courage from that, or are exposed to a representation of a fat body they wouldn’t normally be exposed to. This article includes, and discusses, visual art with my body as the subject, from an Australian artist and two photographers.