Stairway to Togetherness: Taking Mindfulness and Biofeedback into the Intersubjective Realm

This paper proposes an integration of three therapeutic languages—biofeedback, mindfulness, and multiple-person oriented therapy (family, couple, etc.)—using a novel narrative we call the “Stairway to Togetherness.” Relying on recent theoretical and empirical developments, we present a model that combines these three languages into a single coherent therapeutic approach. This approach points to a new direction for multiperson therapy, emphasizing mindfulness interventions, conflict de-escalation, and psychophysiological mutual-regulation patterns, as opposed to content-based and behavioral interventions that have so far been the norm. We suggest that mindfulness and biofeedback practices and insights can find a proper place in the context of multiperson therapy, by making the intersubjective space between individuals the object of mindful attention. We show how mindfulness principles apply to this relational space, and how biofeedback can support this endeavor. A metaphor of a four-story home is provided to help couples navigate their relationship as they attempt to reach a place of felt togetherness—a therapeutic goal that goes beyond problem solving or communication training. Although this paper focuses on couples therapy, it can easily encompass other forms of multi-person therapy.