Dealing with discomfort: Affective dissonance in fathers’ narratives of violence

Researchers focusing on fathers’ violence and perpetrator programmes have expressed growing interest in the question of change. Yet, there has been little dialogue in relation to feminist affect theories on change. Drawing on the narratives of eight fathers in Iceland who had been violent against their female partner and/or children, we suggest that attending to comfort and discomfort is central to understanding violent fathers’ process of change. Inspired by feminist theories of affective dissonance, the analysis shows that, on the one hand, fathers avoided dealing with uncomfortable emotions, conversations, and situations in diverse ways, for example, by leaning on women's emotional labour. On the other hand, the fathers also attempted to deal with discomfort, and this was often as part of their decision to seek help, turn to self-reflection, or hold themselves accountable. By foregrounding discomfort in these narratives, this paper provides insights into the possibilities of and hindrances to fathers’ change from perpetrating domestic violence.