Performing Respect: Contemporary Strategies and Lived Experiences in Intimate Relationships in Maputo

ABSTRACT This article discusses how the notion of “respect” emerges in contemporary Maputo as a structuring pillar in a context where opposing values and notions of romantic and sexual intimacy relationships co-exist. Affluent young adults live openly expressing sexual desire with diverse partners. Such expression follows a framework of rules that give such sexual multiplicity an order. I conceptualize this practice as the normalization of sexual appetite. On the other hand, this is the first post-independence generation profoundly socialized through FRELIMO’s socialist principles that highlighted monogamous marriage as the ideal model of partnership and family. Not surprisingly, in general terms, they wish to be married. A radical contradiction arises from these two opposing stances: while marriage is idealized as a sacred and monogamous relationship, with the normalization of sexual appetite, the practice of having simultaneously two or more similar or different types of affective and/or sexual relationships is widespread. Here, the notion of “respect” emerges as a mediator of contradictions and expectations in steady relationships. Respect is associated with concealment, discretion and non-exposure of external partners from the couple’s networks; hierarchical distinctions between steady partner and external ones; and the maintenance of sacred shared spaces excluding external partners.