Given a homomorphism (tau ) from a suitable finite group ({mathsf {Gamma }}) to (textsf{SU}(4)) with image ({mathsf {Gamma }}^tau ), we construct a cohomological gauge theory on a non-commutative resolution of the quotient singularity (mathbbm {C}^4/{mathsf {Gamma }}^tau ) whose BRST fixed points are ({mathsf {Gamma }})-invariant tetrahedron instantons on a generally non-effective orbifold. The partition function computes the expectation values of complex codimension one defect operators in rank r cohomological Donaldson–Thomas theory on a flat gerbe over the quotient stack ([mathbbm {C}^4/,{mathsf {Gamma }}^tau ]). We describe the generalized ADHM parametrization of the tetrahedron instanton moduli space and evaluate the orbifold partition functions through virtual torus localization. If ({mathsf {Gamma }}) is an abelian group the partition function is expressed as a combinatorial series over arrays of ({mathsf {Gamma }})-coloured plane partitions, while if ({mathsf {Gamma }}) is non-abelian the partition function localizes onto a sum over torus-invariant connected components of the moduli space labelled by lower-dimensional partitions. When ({mathsf {Gamma }}=mathbbm {Z}_n) is a finite abelian subgroup of (textsf{SL}(2,mathbbm {C})), we exhibit the reduction of Donaldson–Thomas theory on the toric Calabi–Yau four-orbifold (mathbbm {C}^2/,{mathsf {Gamma }}times mathbbm {C}^2) to the cohomological field theory of tetrahedron instantons, from which we express the partition function as a closed infinite product formula. We also use the crepant resolution correspondence to derive a closed formula for the partition function on any polyhedral singularity.