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Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935743

Carla Du Pree

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content: <ul> <li> Home Going </li> <li> Carla Du Pree (bio) </li> </ul> We spoke of the many ways M'dear came to us that night, her hair wrapped in a towel piled high on her head, fresh from her bath. She came quietly, stealing the night from us the way a cat slipped into a room to take a child's breath. She lit the way with her footfalls, turning on lights as she headed our way. I awakened—not by the light but by the rustling of her nightgown near my face, the soft scent of musk surrounding her. Eugenia said it was M'dear peering into her dream, her face tight with worry that pulled her voice through like a thread. M'dear didn't wish to startle us from sleep so she said softly, "Wake up, Eudora, Eugenia, Pint. Wake up. Pack what you can, a week's worth of clothes. My sister's sick, and I need to see about her." It meant a journey home for M'dear, one rife with a dangling Southern past she rarely embraced but nudged away each time it came too close to touching down on her present life. A dirt floor and a desire never to return to it. A notion to say "down south" rather than Alabama, admitting it meant giving way to hardship and pain. M'dear came to us with heartbreak in her throat, her words heavy and thick, falling off her tongue—trying without success to ease the urgency that held her knotted hands in place. Sorrow roped around each word she offered. "Place them here," she pointed as we gathered underwear and placed them in the open suitcase. "Don't forget your socks." She came resigned. The first hint Aunt Myrna turned ill M'dear denied, brushed it off like lint from someone's shoulder. "She's not feeling herself," she said out loud after one disturbing phone call from home. "But Mama says she'll pull through just fine." The second time Aunt Myrna wouldn't speak on the phone. The only way to know she was on the other end was the rustling of sheets and the muffled moans that pricked the silence between M'dear asking, "You there, Myrna? Hello, are you there?" M'dear often said when people stare at death's door, they choose their own time to say goodbye to loved ones. One by one they give up speaking to them, purposely shutting that fateful door for good. I imagined my auntie's door closing on M'dear's face, and my mother's palm upright, braced to refuse it. On that last call she placed the telephone on the table, unable to usher the strength to lift it to its hook. She set it down, and a bit of craziness came to be a part of her day. I listened to the fraying ends of her sentences as she couldn't string two together. Dinner was a mess of rudely boiled rice and chicken too tough to eat. At the very sight of Daddy arriving home from work, M'dear appeared in the doorway, and collapsed in his arms, her face drawn and stricken. She couldn't pretend anymore. When

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要： Home Going Carla Du Pree (bio) 我们谈到了那晚 M'dear 来到我们身边的多种方式，她的头发裹在毛巾里，高高地堆在头上，刚洗完澡。她悄无声息地来了，就像猫悄悄溜进房间夺走孩子的呼吸一样，偷走了我们的夜晚。她的脚步声照亮了道路，她一边走一边开灯。我被惊醒了--不是被灯光，而是她的睡衣在我脸旁发出的窸窣声，以及她身上散发出的柔和的麝香味。尤金妮亚说，是亲爱的妈妈在窥探她的梦境，她的脸紧绷着，忧心忡忡，声音如丝线般缠绕着她。亲爱的不想把我们从睡梦中惊醒，所以她轻声说："醒醒，尤朵拉，尤金妮亚，品特。醒醒。收拾好你们能带的东西，一个星期的衣服。我妹妹病了我得去看看她"这意味着亲爱的要踏上回家的旅途了这一路上充斥着南方的往事她很少拥抱这些往事但每当这些往事离她现在的生活太近时她都会轻轻地推开它们泥泞的土地，以及再也回不去的愿望。她想说的是 "南方"，而不是阿拉巴马，承认这一点就意味着要面对艰难和痛苦。M'dear 带着心碎的情绪来到我们面前，她的话又重又稠，从她的舌尖滑落--试图缓解她紧紧握住的双手的紧迫感，但没有成功。悲伤缠绕着她的每一个字。"把它们放在这里，"她指着我们收拾内衣，把它们放在打开的手提箱里。"别忘了袜子。"她不辞而别。米尔纳姨妈一开始就否认了亲爱的 M'del'生病的事实，就像拂去别人肩上的棉絮一样。"她感觉不舒服，"她大声说在一次从家里打来的令人不安的电话之后"但妈妈说她会挺过去的"第二次米尔娜姨妈在电话里不肯说话唯一能知道她在电话那头的方法就是床单的窸窣声和闷闷的呻吟声，在亲爱的问 "你在吗，米尔娜？"的间隙刺破了寂静。喂，你在吗？"亲爱的M'dear常说，当人们凝视着死亡之门时，他们会选择自己的时间与亲人告别。他们一个接一个地放弃和他们说话，故意永远关上那扇命运之门。我想象着姨妈的房门正对着 M'dear 的脸关上，母亲的手掌竖起，准备拒绝。最后一次打电话时，她把电话放在桌子上，没有力气把它举到挂钩上。她放下电话后，疯狂的生活便成了她一天的一部分。我听着她断断续续的话语，因为她无法把两句话连在一起。晚饭是一塌糊涂的粗煮米饭和硬得吃不下的鸡肉。一看到爸爸下班回家，亲爱的就出现在门口，瘫倒在爸爸的怀里，脸色苍白，神情沮丧。她再也装不下去了。当爸爸把她领到沙发前时，她长久以来的悲伤终于爆发了。她弯着背， [第 133 页完] 棕色的肩膀在父亲的臂弯下弯曲着。她似乎根本不是我的母亲，而是一个被悲伤缠绕的陌生人。在我所有的日子里，我从未经历过亲爱的妈妈这样被照顾。她是我们寻求的精神支柱，是我们每次搬家失去好朋友时的粘合剂。我们过去熟悉的世界已经消失，我们必须学习新的世界。她渴望我们了解新家的环境，无论是在基地内还是基地外，军旅生活还是平民生活。是她为我们指明了一条无路可走的路，是她让我们明白了自己的身份，一个黑人军人家庭在这里扎下了根，无论何时何地，我们都要坚持自己的梦想。通过...

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引用次数: 0

Where Marva Went, and: Lineage, and: Girl, and: Love Story #1: Notes from the Archivist's Logbook 玛娃去哪儿了？血统女孩爱情故事 #1：档案管理员日志中的笔记

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935744

L. Renée

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content: <ul> <li> Where Marva Went, and: Lineage, and: Girl, and: Love Story #1: Notes from the Archivist's Logbook </li> <li> L. Renée (bio) </li> </ul> <h2>WHERE MARVA WENT</h2> Bluefield, Virginia, 1957 <blockquote> "If you lie, you'll steal; if you steal, you'll kill." –Black Appalachian Proverb </blockquote> Last seen: Coke bottle gal gettin in bruise blue DeVille Last seen: Devil blue suit gettin in too Last seen: Grown-look-a-like molasses legs Last seen: Legs wearin chilren-frilly-cuff socks Last seen: Ol' man's wide brown hand Last seen: Hand wearin gold-plated weddin band Last heard: Metal porch door wailin fa sure Last heard: "I'll be right back" flung through screen Last heard: "Where Marva goin?" Half-Pint sis say Last heard: "Where fast gals get mo miles." Full-Quart sis say Last heard: Engine sputterin haint blue growl Last heard: Tires crushin rocks to dirt [End Page 138] <h2>LINEAGE</h2> Given that our beginnings cannot be tracedby autosomal DNA alone— the double helix script terminating1,000 years ago, while ancient hieroglyphs writlarge on my waning eyes moonlight as seers— I won't wear all of my unknowinglike a sad sack of potatoes, weepinginto rootless dirt— but, still, again, I am always naked,in the garden, rooting around for someone's God-hand to attach to my searching, hand-me -downs that they are, knowledgeof, at least, the green shadow thumbthat may have spun us from jute once— and now, me, descendantof the dissidents, marked as I am,my own spoiled body, spilledand slipping out my gunny dress— my mummy breast beating, breathingthrough innumerable mouths,famished as we are for relationsrelative to more than just survival— we who fashion for ourselvessomething still elusiveto science and religion, somethingthat refuses quantification— [End Page 139] [End Page 140] <h2>GIRL</h2> holder of secrets a thing that can be kept keeps this body shuddering.silence still vibrates inside of movement. where do i return inside my- self left entangled, mangled by the many wasted hours with ot

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要：玛娃去哪儿了？血统女孩爱情故事 1：档案管理员日志中的笔记 L. 蕾妮（简历）《玛尔瓦去哪儿了》弗吉尼亚州布卢菲尔德，1957 年 "如果你撒谎，你就会偷窃；如果你偷窃，你就会杀人"。-阿巴拉契亚黑人谚语最后出现的地方"可乐瓶女孩" "坐上了伤痕累累的蓝色DeVille最后一次见到：蓝西装恶魔也上车了最后一次见到：最后一次见到：长得像糖蜜的腿最后一次见到：穿着儿童褶皱袖口袜子的腿最后一次见到：最后看到的：老男人宽大的棕色手掌最后看到的：戴着镀金婚戒的手最后听到的：最后听到："我马上回来" 隔着纱窗最后听到："MARVA去哪儿？"最后听到："快速的女孩得到更多的里程。"最后听到：最后一次听到：鉴于我们的起源无法仅通过常染色体 DNA 进行追溯--双螺旋文字在 1000 年前就已终止，而我日渐衰老的眼睛上写着的古老象形文字则像先知一样熠熠生辉--我不会像一袋悲伤的土豆一样，带着我所有的未知、在无根的泥土里哭泣--但是，我还是一样，总是赤身裸体地在花园里，四处寻找某人的上帝之手，以连接我的探索，我的手，至少是知识、而现在，我，持不同政见者的后裔，我被打上了烙印，我自己被宠坏了的身体，从我的帆布衣裳中滑落--我的木乃伊乳房在跳动，通过无数张嘴呼吸、我们渴求的不仅仅是生存关系--我们为自己塑造了某种科学和宗教仍然难以捉摸的东西，某种拒绝量化的东西--[完，第 139 页] [完，第 140 页] 女孩秘密的持有者，一种可以保存的东西，让这具身体不停地颤抖。我的内心该何去何从--与其他虚度光阴的躯体纠缠在一起的自己、被碾碎的自己--还有什么值得赞美、值得塑造？还有什么风景--火山口的雄伟、空空如也的岩浆--曾经有什么值得爆发的证据？[爱的故事 #1：来自档案管理员笔记本的笔记点击查看大图查看完整分辨率妈妈拿着刀。爸爸的手轻轻地引导着刀子，刀子已经在切蛋糕了，爸爸的眼睛看着围观的观众，妈妈的眼睛看着切多大的蛋糕合适。日期：2020 年 11 月 22 日路线：未标注飞行类型时间：未知未知总飞行时间：未知备注和批注：请看下文 [尾页 142] 我一直在寻找一个爱情故事。上中学时，当我开始把男孩子看成不仅仅是打乒乓球或玩 H-O-R-S-E 游戏的对手时，我曾幻想过我会在图书馆遇到我心爱的人。他在书架的一边，我在另一边。我们会同时伸手去拿同一本书然后对视之后就结束了。我们显然有着相同的品味。我们喜欢同样的东西，想去同样的地方，而且总是相处得很好。我当时想，当你爱上一个人，你就会一直相处下去。我的幻想不记得书脊上有书名号，所以我和我的爱人几乎不可能找同一本书，因为我们中的一个人不知道书名，而书名却在书架的另一侧。上次回家，我问了所有的长辈，我的祖父母是怎么认识的。没人知道。我问他们这怎么可能？不知道。他们是如何策划我祖父母的 50 周年聚会的？当他们挑选黄色化身的胸花和胸针时，怎么会不知道？我妈妈说她从没想过要问罗塞塔姨妈说，年轻...

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引用次数: 0

You Are My Sunshine, Helen Juanita 你是我的阳光，海伦-胡安妮塔

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935740

Aneesah Nu'Man

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content: <ul> <li> You Are My Sunshine, Helen Juanita </li> <li> Aneesah Nu'Man (bio) </li> </ul> Once there was a thriving village named Woodburn. It was nestled in the Pennyroyal region of Kentucky. As time passed, Woodburn faded and became crinkled and desiccated as old things do. But about one hundred years ago, Woodburn had many loving families and bountiful farms that yielded delicious nutrition. It was there that the Donoho and Thurman families relocated and united in holy matrimony. This is where our story begins. William Howard Donoho (1862-1928) and James Elizabeth "Lizzie" Thurman (1876-1966), affectionately known as "Mama Lizzie," married in Hartsville, Tennessee but created a family and a legacy that began in Warren County, Kentucky. William was the color of switchgrass in the fall and had a thick mustache like Bass Reeves. He worked as an engineer and fireman at the local flour mill. Mama Lizzie had skin the color of mitochondrial Eve's bones, hair like broomcorn in color, texture, and smell, and eyes like the cool, clear water that ran from the creeks in nearby Rich Pond, Kentucky. William's parents were quiet stoics named Dave Donoho (1832-1890's), a farmer and laborer, and Rilla Clardy (1844-1914), a homemaker. They were both residents of Hartsville, Tennessee (formerly called Donoho's Mill) in the county of Trousdale, near the big city of Nashville. Mama Lizzie's father was named Dan Thurman (1847-1905), a reading and writing Civil War hero and a first sergeant in the very prestigious 14th Regiment, United States Colored Infantry, Company F. Mama Lizzie's mother was named Charlotte Tinsley (1854-1934), an herbalist, midwife, and town sage. When the state came around to inoculate its citizens against smallpox, Charlotte declared to the official that he wasn't "man enough" to inoculate her. Thank you very much, Mr. Government Man, but no thank you. Woodburn wasn't known for a lot, but it certainly wasn't known for its airs. Woodburn was rich with love, but nobody had any money. No one cared if you were called someone's girl or someone's boy, fifty years before. Therefore, everyone shopped at the local A&P, egalitarily. One day at the people's A&P, Helen—Mama Lizzie and William's precious grandbaby—got to singing the number one song of the year "You Are My Sunshine" at the top of her lungs. Strangers exclaimed "How cute!" and "What a beautiful baby!" and "Awwww!" Helen's mother, Dorothy, was not amused, as she took after the stoic Donoho side and promptly dragged little Helen right out of the store. Helen was really a daddy's girl, but she adored her Mama Lizzie. Mama Lizzie was a typical grandmother who spoiled her grandchildren with love, affection, and privileges that bemused her own children when they witnessed it. Mama Lizzie's bungalow style

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要：你是我的阳光，海伦-胡安妮塔-阿尼萨-努曼（简历曾经有一个繁荣的村庄，名叫伍德本。它坐落在肯塔基州的佩妮罗亚尔地区。随着时间的流逝，伍德本逐渐衰落，变得皱巴巴的，就像古老的东西一样干瘪。但在大约一百年前，伍德本曾拥有许多温馨的家庭和富饶的农场，出产美味的营养品。就在那里，多诺霍家族和瑟曼家族搬迁到了这里，并结为神圣的夫妻。我们的故事就从这里开始。威廉-霍华德-多诺霍（William Howard Donoho，1862-1928 年）和詹姆斯-伊丽莎白-"丽兹"-瑟曼（James Elizabeth "Lizzie" Thurman，1876-1966 年），人们亲切地称他们为 "丽兹妈妈"。威廉的肤色像秋天的开关草，留着像巴斯-里夫斯（Bass Reeves）一样浓密的胡子。他在当地的面粉厂担任工程师和消防员。莉齐妈妈的皮肤是线粒体夏娃骨头的颜色，头发的颜色、质地和气味都像扫帚玉米，眼睛像肯塔基州里奇池塘附近小溪里清凉的溪水。威廉的父母都是沉默寡言的坚忍不拔的人，戴夫-多诺霍（1832-1890 年代）是一名农民和工人，瑞拉-克拉迪（1844-1914 年）是一名家庭主妇。他们都是田纳西州特鲁斯代尔县哈茨维尔（原名多诺霍磨坊镇）的居民，毗邻大城市纳什维尔。莉齐妈妈的父亲名叫丹-瑟曼（Dan Thurman，1847-1905 年），是一位能读会写的南北战争英雄，也是声名显赫的美国有色人种步兵第 14 团 F 连的一名上士。当州政府为公民接种天花疫苗时，夏洛特对官员说，他 "不够男人"，不能为她接种。非常感谢你，政府官员先生，但不用了，谢谢。伍德本并不因很多事情而闻名，但肯定也不因虚伪而闻名。伍德本充满了爱，但没有人有钱。五十年前，没人在乎你是别人的女孩还是男孩。因此，每个人都平等地在当地的 A&P 购物。有一天，海伦--丽兹妈妈和威廉的宝贝孙子--在人们的 A&P 店里，大声唱起了当年的流行歌曲《你是我的阳光》。陌生人都惊呼："好可爱！"、"好漂亮的宝宝！"、"啊！"。海伦的妈妈多萝西却不以为然，她学着多诺霍的样子，马上把小海伦拖出了商店。海伦其实是个爸爸的女儿，但她很喜欢丽兹妈妈。莉齐妈妈是一个典型的祖母，她用爱、亲情和特权溺爱着孙子孙女，当自己的孩子目睹这一切时，都感到非常困惑。莉齐妈妈的平房式住宅位于伍德伯恩的山核桃平地地区：铁轨的十字路口。在此期间，许多年轻人会 [第 127 页完] 坐火车从一个城镇到另一个城镇找工作。莉齐妈妈会定期给这些人提供食物，因为他们没有足够的运气生活在充满爱的家庭和无偿分享他们所拥有的一切的邻居家。有一次，莉齐妈妈把最后一份桃子馅饼分给了其中一个年轻人。海伦很喜欢吃桃子馅饼，当她发现最后一块给了一个 "流浪汉 "时，她撅起了嘴。丽兹妈妈当场制止了她，并告诉小海伦，她 "应该为自己感到羞耻"，因为她总是有足够的食物来满足自己的需要和愿望。"那个可怜的人什么都没有"海伦，这个金孙，得到了令人难忘的欢呼，这种欢呼甚至回荡到海伦的孙子孙女身上。多诺霍-特曼家族的一句口头禅是："善待每一个人。你永远不知道谁会让你喝口水"。沃伦郡有 15 所黑人儿童学校，比肯塔基州任何其他郡都多。伍德伯恩有色人种儿童学校并不是朱利叶斯-罗森沃尔德的慈善项目之一。附近有一所名为洛克菲尔德的罗森沃尔德学校，但伍德本...

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引用次数: 0

Maroonage Tanka, and: Eulogy for Eli Whitney, and: Makeshift Gods Maroonage Tanka，以及伊莱-惠特尼的悼词临时神

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935737

Chantal James

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

Maroonage Tanka, and: Eulogy for Eli Whitney, and: Makeshift Gods
Chantal James (bio)

MAROONAGE TANKA

heroes ran to hillswe children of red clay chainsmoking thought revolt

to be aflame on mountains;maroonage in brooks' babble [End Page 120]

EULOGY FOR ELI WHITNEY

sing a humbled field of briarembrambled, embattered, in viewof crow & buzzard–so

high up, these birds of preyhear the song of the bolls.the plant aims to kill,

weaving white. killer of soiland dreams, with roots entrencheddagger-like.

o murderer! was your victimthe soil or the dream?we the needy await you. [End Page 121]

MAKESHIFT GODS

my mothers were plucked unwillingly as they bloomed, the even and the odd of youpressed by the weight of strangers—profit, these shadow-men made a god of you

as the flower seeks the sun's face i'm honed to your beam, i swear, across lightyearsyou let me suck puss from your wounds. it was nectar; i worshipped the god of you

when the sickness of the prophets is cruelest you cannot know your own wantingin its curse—its comfort unquestioning, a sure grip—it shows who is the god of you

we are seized. lifted. the damp hand clamps unformed cries; the rigid body yields.goliath who swallows my smaller form in his, my murderer—who is the god of you?

the old ones leave us, their gardens of mint uprooted, their basil plants dead of thirstnot even by dove do they send word on the fate of the soul of you, the god of you [End Page 122]

Chantal James

CHANTAL JAMES lives in Washington, D.C., and has been published across genres—as a poet, fiction writer, essayist, and book reviewer—in such venues as Catapult, Paste Magazine, Harvard's Transition Magazine, The Bitter Southerner, and more. Her honors include a Fulbright fellowship in creative writing to Morocco, a finalist position for the Alex Albright Creative Nonfiction Prize from North Carolina Literary Review, and a fellowship to The Vermont Studio Center. Her debut novel, None but the Righteous (Counterpoint), was one of Kirkus' 10 most anticipated fiction books of the year and was nominated for the John Leonard Prize for Best First Book from the National Book Critics Circle.

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要： Maroonage Tanka，以及为伊莱-惠特尼所作的悼词，以及沼泽唐卡英雄们奔向山丘，我们这些红土之子吮吸着沼泽的烟雾，以为反抗将在山间燃起熊熊烈火；沼泽在小溪的潺潺声中...... [第 120 页结束] 为伊莱-惠特尼的悼词歌唱一片卑微的红叶田野，藟藟斑驳，斑斑驳驳，在乌鸦和amp；秃鹫--如此之高，这些猛禽听到了花铃的歌声。它是土壤和梦想的杀手，根须像匕首一样深深扎入土壤和梦想。[我的母亲在绽放时被不情愿地摘下，你的偶数和奇数被陌生利益的重压所压迫，这些影子人把你塑造成神，就像花朵寻找太阳的脸。那是花蜜；我崇拜你的神，当先知的疾病最残酷时，你无法知道你自己在它的诅咒中的渴望--它的安慰毫无疑问，牢牢地抓住--它表明谁是你的神，我们被抓住了。潮湿的手紧紧抓住未成形的哭声；僵硬的身体屈服了。巨人把我的小身躯吞进他的肚子里，我的凶手--谁是你的神？老人们离开了我们，他们的薄荷花园被连根拔起，他们的罗勒植物渴死了，甚至连鸽子都没有送来关于你的灵魂命运的消息，你的神 [第 122 页结束] 香塔尔-詹姆斯香塔尔-詹姆斯住在华盛顿特区、作为诗人、小说家、散文家和书评人，她曾在不同类型的刊物上发表过作品，如《Catapult》、《Paste Magazine》、《Harvard's Transition Magazine》、《The Bitter Souther》等。她曾获得富布赖特（Fulbright）奖学金，前往摩洛哥进行创意写作；入围《北卡罗来纳文学评论》（North Carolina Literary Review）的亚历克斯-奥尔布赖特非虚构创意奖（Alex Albright Creative Nonfiction Prize）；以及佛蒙特工作室中心（The Vermont Studio Center）奖学金。她的处女作《除正义者外无他人》（Counterpoint）入选《柯克斯》（Kirkus）杂志评选的年度十大最值得期待小说之一，并获得美国国家书评人协会颁发的约翰-伦纳德最佳处女作奖提名。版权所有 © 2024 约翰斯-霍普金斯大学出版社 ...

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引用次数: 0

The Writer Is Asked Why She Calls Herself Affrilachian 作家被问及为何自称 "阿夫里拉齐亚人

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935729

Asha L. French

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content: <ul> <li> The Writer Is Asked Why She Calls Herself Affrilachian </li> <li> Asha L. French (bio) </li> </ul> <h2>The Writer Is Asked Why She Calls Herself Affrilachian</h2> A young woman is trying to get an elder poet to say she is Affrilachian but the elder has already said she is Appalachian and not Affrilachian because she is from Appalachian people who do not play the separatist racial politics of the rest of the country. The young woman is hoping to write something scholarly about Affrilachians and is trying to commission the curmudgeonly poet to that end. "I'm an Affrilachian Poet," I say, not to brag but to help, "and I can put you in touch with some Affrilachian Poets from the region." "Some" is my word for two. I know two Affrilachian Poets from the region. The two Crystals: Crystal Wilkinson and Crystal Goode. The others of us have been riding under the moniker to put some color into the place because the books say it was never there, but our family pictures tell us otherwise. In so doing, we have done two wrong things that some Real Scholar of Appalachian history will continue to point out for years: 1) We have projected the identity of a multi-state region onto one whole state; and 2) we have bastardized the name of said region, kidnapping the rhythm of an Indigenous word, Appalachia, to use it toward some Black Arts Movement-inspired, separatist end. The young woman must have read this Real Scholar. She sneers. Looks away from the esteemed poet. Says to me, "Why do you call yourself that?" <h2>The Writer is Asked Why She Calls Herself a Womanist</h2> Another time I was asked why I called myself something was during a job interview for a Black feminist professorship. I was calling myself a womanist at the time. bell hooks had not yet passed away, and feminist was something I wasn't comfortable being as long as I knew that she and her followers talked bad about the ways of my dead brother under that moniker. I had been one of those followers saying slick things about him and his fraternity brothers1 because they had some funny ways. [End Page 87] Just hours before the interview, I'd been crying over the gone men in my family. I was a postdoctoral fellow at an Ivy League school, and I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere in that cold city. Not the campus with its plantation houses still intact. Not the apartment I was renting from a family that did not speak my language. Not the public school my daughter attended. Not even in my skin. I wanted to be with my father and my brother. I wasn't allowed to feel that way because I was a mother, after all, and a scholar who had managed to complete a doctoral degree. I wasn't supposed to pack my bags and go to heaven at the peak of this academic success but that's just what I wanted to do unless I was

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要：作家被问及为何自称阿弗利拉奇人 Asha L. French (bio) 作家被问及为何自称阿弗利拉奇人一位年轻女子试图让一位年长的诗人说她是阿弗利拉奇人，但这位年长的诗人已经说她是阿巴拉契亚人而不是阿弗利拉奇人，因为她来自阿巴拉契亚人，而阿巴拉契亚人并不像该国其他地区那样玩分离主义种族政治。这位年轻女士希望写一些关于阿弗利拉契亚人的学术著作，并试图为此委托这位古板的诗人。我说："我是一名阿夫里拉齐诗人，"我说，"我可以帮你联系一些本地区的阿夫里拉齐诗人。""一些 "是我的两个词。"一些 "是我说的两个。我认识本地区的两位阿弗里拉齐诗人。两位水晶诗人Crystal Wilkinson 和 Crystal Goode。我们中的其他人一直以这个名字骑行，为这个地方增添一些色彩，因为书上说它从未存在过，但我们的家庭照片告诉我们事实并非如此。在这样做的过程中，我们做了两件错事，一些真正的阿巴拉契亚历史学者多年来会不断指出这两件错事：1）我们将一个多州地区的身份投射到了整个州；2）我们篡改了该地区的名称，绑架了土著词汇 "阿巴拉契亚 "的韵律，将其用于某些由黑人艺术运动激发的分离主义目的。这位年轻女士一定读过这篇《真正的学者》。她嗤之以鼻。把目光从这位受人尊敬的诗人身上移开。对我说："你为什么这么称呼自己？"作家被问及为何自称为女性主义者另一次有人问我为何自称为女性主义者，是在一次黑人女权主义教授职位的求职面试中。当时，我称自己为 "女性主义者"（womanist）。当时，贝尔-胡克斯（Bell hooks）还没有去世，只要我知道她和她的追随者们用这个称谓对我死去的哥哥的方式说三道四，我就会觉得当 "女性主义者 "很不舒服。我也曾是这些追随者中的一员，说他和他兄弟会的兄弟们1 的坏话，因为他们的方式很有趣。[采访前几个小时，我还在为家里死去的男人哭泣。我是一所常春藤名校的博士后研究员，在那个冰冷的城市里，我没有任何归属感。我不属于校园，那里的种植园房屋依然完好无损。不是我从一个不会说我的语言的家庭租来的公寓。不是我女儿就读的公立学校。甚至不是我的皮肤。我想和父亲、哥哥在一起。我不允许自己有这种感觉，因为我毕竟是一位母亲，还是一位成功完成博士学位的学者。我不应该在学术成就达到顶峰时收拾行囊去天堂，但这正是我想做的，除非我花时间阅读莱莉-马帕良的《女性主义思想》，思考相互联系和更高召唤的想法。我读了她关于女儿自杀的那一章，并决定接受任何一个能让我感受到她让我感受到的死亡的女人的名字，就像死亡并不是最终的结局，而只是正在进行的故事中的一个章节，这个故事中的结缔组织比我父亲的软骨更强大，而我父亲在死前就因癌症而崩溃了。我决定让那个女人说出我的名字--那个写了关于相互关联性和差异意识2 以及大写 "L "的 "光 "的必然胜利的女人。在 Zoom 屏幕的另一端，"真实学者 "想知道我为什么在申请黑人女权主义者职位时给自己起这个名字。我对一些打着黑人女权主义者旗号的真正的学者和一些打着（更有可能是非裔）妇女主义者旗号的真正的学者之间的矛盾的认识被埋没在对天堂的向往和那些在我之前为我准备天堂公寓的人的向往之中。我心不在焉。我没有...

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引用次数: 0

Contributors 贡献者

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935749

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content: <ul> <li> Contributors </li> </ul> TONYA ABARI is a multigenre storyteller, independent journalist, author, and book reviewer. Her words can be found in Essence, Publishers Weekly, Parents, SWING Magazine, Raising Mothers, AARP, USA Today, Good Housekeeping, ZORA, and other places. She has published and forthcoming children's books with The Innovation Press, Mudpuppy, HarperCollins, Penguin, and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. Abari is also a teaching artist with PorchTN and is the Books on Books on Books column editor for the literary magazine Raising Mothers. As a Hurston-Wright Writers Week and Carnegie Hall/Roots. Words.Wounds. creative nonfiction alum, her writing often centers on her multifaceted life as a Black woman and mother in the United States. AMY M. ALVAREZ is an Affrilachian Poet, the author of the poetry collection Makeshift Altar, and a co-editor of Essential Voices: A COVID-19 Anthology. Selected as one of 2022's Best New Poets, her work has appeared in several literary journals, including Ploughshares, The Missouri Review, Rattle, Colorado Review, and The Cincinnati Review. She is also a recipient of fellowships from CantoMundo, VONA, Macondo, the Virginia Center of the Creative Arts, and the Furious Flower Poetry Center. ARIANA BENSON is a Southern Black ecopoet. Their debut collection, Black Pastoral (University of Georgia Press, 2023) won the Cave Canem Poetry Prize and was a finalist for the National Books Critics Circle Leonard Prize. A Ruth Lilly and Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg Fellow, Benson has also received the Furious Flower Poetry Prize and the Graybeal Gowen Prize for Virginia Poets. Her poems and essays appear or are forthcoming in Poetry Magazine, Ploughshares, Poem-a-Day, The Yale Review, The Kenyon Review, and elsewhere. Through her writing, she strives to fashion vignettes of Blackness that speak to its infinite depth and richness. TORLI BUSH is a poet from Webster Springs, West Virginia. They are currently a poetry editor for Heartwood and their first collection, Requiem for a Redbird, is forthcoming in fall 2024 from Pulley Press. JAMES E CHERRY is a poet, fiction writer, professor, literary activist, and impresario. He is the author of four books of poetry, two novels, and a collection of short fiction. His latest novel, Edge of the Wind, was re-issued in 2022 from Stephen F. Austin University Press. His latest collection of poetry, Between Chance and Mercy, is forthcoming from Willow Books. He has been nominated for an NAACP Image Award, a Lillian Smith Book Award, and a Next Generation Indie Book Award. His writing has been published in journ

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要：撰稿人 TONYA ABARI 是一位多源故事讲述者、独立记者、作家和书评人。她的作品散见于《精华》、《出版商周刊》、《父母》、《SWING Magazine》、《Raising Mothers》、《AARP》、《今日美国》、《Good Housekeeping》、《ZORA》等杂志。她已在创新出版社、Mudpuppy、哈珀-柯林斯、企鹅和小布朗青年读物出版社出版了童书，并即将出版。阿巴里还是 PorchTN 的教学艺术家，也是文学杂志《Raising Mothers》的 Books on Books on Books 专栏编辑。作为赫斯顿-赖特作家周和卡内基音乐厅/根。Words.Wounds. 创意非虚构作品奖得主，她的写作经常围绕她作为美国黑人妇女和母亲的多面人生展开。艾米-阿尔瓦雷斯（AMY M. ALVAREZ）是阿弗利拉奇诗人，诗集《临时祭坛》（Makeshift Altar）的作者，也是《基本声音》（Essential Voices）的联合编辑：A COVID-19 Anthology》的联合编辑。她的作品入选《2022 年最佳新诗人》，曾发表在《犁铧》、《密苏里评论》、《响铃》、《科罗拉多评论》和《辛辛那提评论》等多家文学期刊上。她还获得过 CantoMundo、VONA、Macondo、弗吉尼亚创意艺术中心和怒花诗歌中心的奖学金。阿丽亚娜-本森（ARIANA BENSON）是一位南方黑人生态诗人。其首部诗集《黑色田园》（佐治亚大学出版社，2023 年）获得了 Cave Canem 诗歌奖，并入围了美国国家书评人协会伦纳德奖。作为露丝-莉莉和多萝西-萨金特-罗森伯格研究员，本森还曾获得怒花诗歌奖和弗吉尼亚诗人格雷贝尔-高文奖。她的诗歌和散文发表或即将发表在《诗歌杂志》、《犁铧》、《每日一诗》、《耶鲁评论》、《肯扬评论》等刊物上。通过写作，她努力创造黑人的小故事，展现黑人的无限深度和丰富性。托里-布什（TORLI BUSH）是一位来自西弗吉尼亚州韦伯斯特斯普林斯的诗人。他们目前是 Heartwood 的诗歌编辑，首部诗集《红鸟的安魂曲》即将于 2024 年秋季由 Pulley Press 出版。詹姆斯-切里（JAMES E CHERRY）是诗人、小说家、教授、文学活动家和表演艺术家。他著有四本诗集、两本小说和一本短篇小说集。他的最新小说《风的边缘》于 2022 年由斯蒂芬-弗-奥斯汀大学出版社再版。他的最新诗集《机会与仁慈之间》即将由 Willow Books 出版。他曾获有色人种协进会形象奖、莉莉安-史密斯图书奖和下一代独立图书奖的提名。他的作品曾在美国和国际期刊和选集上发表。Cherry 拥有德克萨斯大学埃尔帕索分校的创意写作硕士学位，与妻子 Tammy 居住在田纳西州。C. CHOICE 是一位女儿、姐姐、阿姨、艺术家、活动家、教育家、梦想家、情人、黑人/同性恋害群之马、流浪者。Choice 在佐治亚州出生长大，现居住在北卡罗来纳州的山区。她的创作考虑了身份的多层次相互关联性，以及这些身份如何与他们所处的环境和系统相抗衡。MARIE T. COCHRAN 拥有佐治亚大学艺术学士学位和芝加哥艺术学院艺术硕士学位。她的作品曾在许多地方展出，包括佐治亚州亚特兰大市的高等艺术博物馆、德克萨斯州奥斯汀市的林登-约翰逊总统图书馆和博物馆、华盛顿特区史密森学会的前非裔美国人历史和文化中心以及哈莱姆工作室博物馆。科克伦曾获得的艺术奖项包括佐治亚州艺术委员会个人艺术家补助金、中大西洋艺术委员会艺术家催化剂补助金、南方艺术联合会奖学金、美国国家艺术协会快速挑战补助金，以及由高地人中心赞助的 "我们必胜 "基金的支持。科克伦是 "阿普拉契亚艺术家项目"（Affrilachian Artist Project）的创始艺术家/策展人，该项目旨在弘扬阿普拉契亚地区非洲裔人的独特视角。玛兰达-德金（MARLANDA DEKINE）来自南卡罗来纳州的普朗特斯维尔。她著有《Thresh & Hold》（Hub City Press，2022 年）、《New Southern Voices Poetry Prize》获奖作品，以及《I am from a punch & a kiss》（{unnamed}, LLC，2017 年）。她曾获得南卡罗来纳州艺术委员会颁发的 "艺术家个人奖学金"、南卡罗来纳州人文协会颁发的 "州长奖"、...

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引用次数: 0

Lament for Tyre Nichols 提尔-尼科尔斯哀歌

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935725

James E Cherry

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

Lament for Tyre Nichols
James E Cherry (bio)

I heard a Black man cryfor his mother today. Another Black man.Just an ordinary day. Listen.

At the corner of Castlegate & Bear Creekit's the same slave block howlafter the auctioneer's gavel, southern shrieks

from rope and gasoline, one long moanexiting Cup Foods, rolling downChicago Avenue South.

Its echo will undoubtably followand find you next door to yourselfor if you have lost your way

home, will demand to knowhow many lynchings does it taketo save my life or that of your own?

How does a Black mother forgiveherself for delivering a Black babyboy to the altar of America

except she pluck a handful of sunsetfrom the Memphis horizon, hold onuntil a light gives birth to itself? [End Page 78]

James E Cherry

JAMES E CHERRY is a poet, fiction writer, professor, literary activist, and impresario. He is the author of four books of poetry, two novels, and a collection of short fiction. His latest novel, Edge of the Wind, was re-issued in 2022 from Stephen F. Austin University Press. His latest collection of poetry, Between Chance and Mercy, is forthcoming from Willow Books. He has been nominated for an NAACP Image Award, a Lillian Smith Book Award, and a Next Generation Indie Book Award. His writing has been published in journals and anthologies both in the U.S. and internationally. Cherry has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Texas at El Paso and resides in Tennessee with his wife, Tammy.

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要：提尔的哀歌--尼科尔斯-詹姆斯-E-切里（简历）我今天听到一个黑人为他的母亲哭泣。又是一个黑人，只是一个普通的日子。听。在 Castlegate & Bear Creek 的拐角处，还是那个奴隶街区，在拍卖师的槌声之后，南方人从绳索和汽油中发出嘶吼，一声长长的呻吟从 Cup Foods 传出，沿着芝加哥南大道滚滚而来。毫无疑问，它的回声会追随着你，在你隔壁找到你自己，或者，如果你已经迷失了回家的路，你会想知道要经历多少次私刑才能拯救我或你自己的生命？除了从孟菲斯的地平线上摘下一把夕阳，坚持到一束光自己诞生，黑人母亲如何原谅自己将一个黑人男婴送上美国的祭坛？[詹姆斯-切里（James E Cherry）詹姆斯-切里是诗人、小说家、教授、文学活动家和表演艺术家。他著有四本诗集、两本小说和一本短篇小说集。他的最新小说《风的边缘》于 2022 年由斯蒂芬-弗-奥斯汀大学出版社再版。他的最新诗集《机会与仁慈之间》即将由 Willow Books 出版。他曾获有色人种协进会形象奖、莉莉安-史密斯图书奖和下一代独立图书奖的提名。他的作品曾在美国和国际期刊和选集上发表。Cherry 拥有德克萨斯大学埃尔帕索分校的创意写作硕士学位，与妻子 Tammy 居住在田纳西州。版权 © 2024 约翰斯-霍普金斯大学出版社 ...

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引用次数: 0

I Pledge Allegiance to Affrilachia 我宣誓效忠阿夫里拉基亚

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935710

Marie T. Cochran

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content: <ul> <li> I Pledge Allegiance to Affrilachia </li> <li> Marie T. Cochran (bio) </li> </ul> Being a Black person from Appalachia can be summed up in that old Facebook relationship status: It's complicated. During my childhood, I enjoyed The Waltons, a popular 1970s TV show about a hardscrabble white family in the Virginia mountains, as much as I enjoyed Good Times, the story of an irrepressible Black family in Chicago's Cabrini-Green public housing community. My Black friends from Atlanta and other cities look askance when I mention I had simultaneous crushes on the sensitive aspiring writer John-Boy (the eldest Walton son) and Michael Evans, the smart, politically conscious youngest child on Good Times. I'm used to this reaction. I've always been teased because I was born and raised in the foothills of Georgia's Appalachian Mountains—a place not known for having Black communities or Deep South "chocolate cities." But Appalachia is a crossroads—where African, European, and Indigenous people collided and co-existed. As a friend recently remarked, "We were 'intersectional' before the word existed." In the best of times, the regional camaraderie flows in an easy familiar manner 'cause everybody knows 'your momma and them. In the worst of times, I've despaired of finding better ways to co-exist on this land. As I'm crafting these emotions into sentences—and this native daughter returned to Georgia after many years away—I am still sorting out how I feel about this place called home. I was born in Toccoa, in Stephens County, Georgia. Even these place names express the dissonance I feel about my geographic roots. "Toccoa" is a word of Cherokee origin; almost every local Chamber of Commerce brochure claims that translated into English it means "the beautiful," though it was probably derived from "tagwahi," meaning "Catawba place." My high school mascot is still the Indians, boldly and inaccurately adorned in Plains Indian headgear. There was hardly any mention in our history classes of the "Trail of Tears" that removed Indigenous people from this area of northeast Georgia, nothing about the reasons why, and no thoughtful contemporary attempt to connect with the culture we claim to honor on the athletic field. The county is named after Alexander H. Stephens, vice president of the Confederacy during the Civil War. He is commemorated with a bronze plaque on the grounds of the county courthouse. This official marker does not refer to his infamous "Cornerstone Address," delivered in Savannah in March 1861. There, he stated the logic behind the Confederacy's creation: "Its foundations are laid, its cornerstone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery, subordination to the superior race, is his natural and no

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要：作为一名来自阿巴拉契亚的黑人，我可以用 Facebook 上的那条老关系状态来概括：这很复杂。在我的童年时期，我喜欢看《华尔顿一家》（The Waltons），这是一部上世纪七十年代流行的电视剧，讲述的是弗吉尼亚山区一个艰苦奋斗的白人家庭的故事，就像我喜欢看《好时光》（Good Times）一样，这部电视剧讲述的是芝加哥卡布里尼-格林（Cabrini-Green）公共住房社区一个不可抗拒的黑人家庭的故事。我来自亚特兰大和其他城市的黑人朋友在提到我同时迷恋《好时光》中敏感、有抱负的作家约翰-男孩（沃尔顿家的长子）和聪明、有政治觉悟的小儿子迈克尔-埃文斯时，都会投来异样的眼光。我已经习惯了这种反应。我一直被人取笑，因为我出生并成长在佐治亚州阿巴拉契亚山脉的山脚下--这个地方并不以黑人社区或南部深处的 "巧克力城市 "而闻名。但阿巴拉契亚是一个十字路口--非洲人、欧洲人和土著人在这里碰撞、共存。正如一位朋友最近所说，"在'交叉'这个词出现之前，我们就是'交叉'了"。在最好的时候，地区友情以一种轻松熟悉的方式流淌，因为每个人都知道 "你妈妈和他们"。在最糟糕的时候，我曾绝望地想找到更好的方式在这片土地上共存。当我把这些情感融入句子中时，当我这个土生土长的女儿在离开多年后回到佐治亚州时，我仍在整理我对这个被称为家的地方的感受。我出生在佐治亚州斯蒂芬斯县的托科阿。即使是这些地名也表达了我对自己地理根源的不和谐感。"托科阿 "是一个源自切罗基语的单词；几乎所有当地商会的宣传册都声称，翻译成英语后它的意思是 "美丽的"，尽管它很可能源自 "tagwahi"，意思是 "卡托巴的地方"。我高中的吉祥物仍然是印第安人，他们戴着平原印第安人的头饰，大胆而不准确。在我们的历史课上，几乎没有提到过将原住民从佐治亚州东北部这一地区赶走的 "泪之径"，也没有提到过原因，更没有经过深思熟虑，试图在运动场上与我们声称要纪念的文化联系起来。该县以南北战争期间南方联盟副总统亚历山大-斯蒂芬斯（Alexander H. Stephens）的名字命名。在县法院的院子里有一块纪念他的铜牌。这个官方标志并不是指他于 1861 年 3 月在萨凡纳发表的臭名昭著的 "基石演说"。他在演讲中阐述了邦联成立背后的逻辑："它的地基，它的基石，建立在这样一个伟大的真理之上：黑人不等同于白人；奴役，从属于优越的种族，是黑人的自然和正常状态。[显然，在斯蒂芬斯的理想中没有我的位置，但南方联盟并没有得逞。我是一名黑人女性，是第一代大学生。我的父母在十几岁时当过 "帮工"，成年后在纺织厂工作。我是佃农的孙子，也是被奴役者的曾孙。作为民权运动的继承人，我要求自由，成为一名艺术家、策展人和教育家。我还接受了文化授粉者和许多人的导师的角色。我已经获得了两个学位，我的大部分工作都是将学院与基层社区联系起来。我是一个南方黑人，我的经历虽然有悖于白人乡巴佬的刻板印象，但无疑是阿巴拉契亚式的。阿巴拉契亚的居民就像它的地形一样多种多样--从高耸的山峰到平缓的山坡，从乡村农业社区到繁华的大都市。然而，当我们谈论这个地区时，阿巴拉契亚却被狭隘地定义和漫画化了。世世代代生活在这里的黑人个人和社区很少受到关注。我们的存在一直被抹杀，对此我常说："人数不多，影响巨大"。从建造北卡罗来纳州西部铁路的囚犯到田纳西州东部的 "高地人中心"（Highlander Center），多种族民权盟友在这里制定战略......我们可以从一系列实例中发现基层黑人对这些古老山脉的历史性影响。

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引用次数: 0

Summerville 萨默维尔

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935741

Bryn Evans

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

Summerville
Bryn Evans (bio)

8-26-22, on the Rome Bypass and between the tractor's imprint, roses in hand

in memory of mama julie

crook between your neck / the shoulder / of theroad / a homestead / lean into the space andsign / 'laugh' / caress my arm when words won'tcome / draw out / salted skin / untangle myelbows / choose my hands / peace in your palms /a breeze to ease the tremblin / gossamer lininin the bush / remind me of time and place / asoften as I forget / when we're together / you andme / both know grandmothers' love / theserubies / a reminder of what once was / and stillis / to come / elsewhere / i imaginerunnin inside the mountain's middle part / you onmy tail / light / two shootin stars / in a sky / darkenough to see / joy rides / willingly / talkin aboutforever /hummin hymns we too young to know /intertwined hope / knee babies / on hips / oldenough and still together / memberin / all theways / we carried on / soothin each other /their peppermints on our tongues / love paintinour cheeks with sweet water / your rear-vieweyes meet mine again / at the stop / [End Page 130]

Bryn Evans

BRYN EVANS is a Southern writer born and raised in Decatur, Georgia. She lives in Stanford, California, where she studies Black art. living in Stanford, California, where she studies Black art.

以下是内容的简要摘录，以代替摘要：萨默维尔-布林-埃文斯（简历）8-26-22，罗马绕行公路上，拖拉机印迹之间、手握玫瑰，缅怀朱莉妈妈在你的脖子/肩膀/道路/家园之间弯曲/靠进空间并签名/"笑"/当言语无法表达时抚摸我的手臂/抽出/盐渍的皮肤/解开我的蝴蝶结/选择我的手掌中的和平/微风缓解颤抖/灌木丛中的花丝/提醒我时间和地点/当我忘记时/当我们在一起时/你和我/都知道祖母的爱/这些树叶/提醒我什么是曾经的/现在仍然是我想象着你从山的中间部分钻进去/你跟在我的后面/光/两颗流星/在天空中/黑得看不清/快乐的旅程/心甘情愿/谈论永远/嗡嗡的赞美诗，我们太年轻了，不知道我们太年轻，不知道/交织在一起的希望/膝盖上的婴儿/在臀部上/老了，仍然在一起/成员/所有的方式/我们进行/互相抚慰/他们的薄荷糖在我们的舌头/爱用甜水涂抹我们的脸颊/你的后背Bryn Evans BRYN EVANS 是一位南方作家，在佐治亚州迪凯特出生长大、在佐治亚州迪凯特出生长大。她现居加利福尼亚州斯坦福，研究黑人艺术。版权所有 © 2024 约翰斯-霍普金斯大学出版社 ...

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引用次数: 0

Artist's Statement 艺术家声明

Callaloo

Pub Date : 2024-08-29 DOI: 10.1353/cal.2024.a935733

C. Choice

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

Artist's Statement
C. Choice (bio)

dreaming towards home is a photographic series that visually explores a transitional understanding of where I want to be or to land—a dreaming of possibilities to navigate big open spaces, the outdoors, trees, and access the subconscious layers of being interconnected to the more-than-human world—always understanding that there is still a yearning for culture, for more Blackness. How do I find who I am and who I want to be in relation to these dreams of both/and—appreciating the stillness and isolation, but always remembering the importance of community and the collective? [End Page 102]