Ca2+/calmodulin-dependent protein kinase II (CaMKII) and long-term potentiation (LTP) were discovered within a decade of each other and have been inextricably intertwined ever since. However, like many marriages, it has had its up and downs. Based on the unique biochemical properties of CaMKII, it was proposed as a memory molecule before any physiological linkage was made to LTP. However, as reviewed here, the convincing linkage of CaMKII to synaptic physiology and behavior took many decades. New technologies were critical in this journey, including in vitro brain slices, mouse genetics, single-cell molecular genetics, pharmacological reagents, protein structure, and two-photon microscopy, as were new investigators attracted by the exciting challenge. This review tracks this journey and assesses the state of this marriage 40 years on. The collective literature impels us to propose a relatively simple model for synaptic memory involving the following steps that drive the process: 1) Ca2+ entry through N-methyl-d-aspartate (NMDA) receptors activates CaMKII. 2) CaMKII undergoes autophosphorylation resulting in constitutive, Ca2+-independent activity and exposure of a binding site for the NMDA receptor subunit GluN2B. 3) Active CaMKII translocates to the postsynaptic density (PSD) and binds to the cytoplasmic C-tail of GluN2B. 4) The CaMKII-GluN2B complex initiates a structural rearrangement of the PSD that may involve liquid-liquid phase separation. 5) This rearrangement involves the PSD-95 scaffolding protein, α-amino-3-hydroxy-5-methyl-4-isoxazolepropionic acid receptors (AMPARs), and their transmembrane AMPAR-regulatory protein (TARP) auxiliary subunits, resulting in an accumulation of AMPARs in the PSD that underlies synaptic potentiation. 6) The stability of the modified PSD is maintained by the stability of the CaMKII-GluN2B complex. 7) By a process of subunit exchange or interholoenzyme phosphorylation CaMKII maintains synaptic potentiation in the face of CaMKII protein turnover. There are many other important proteins that participate in enlargement of the synaptic spine or modulation of the steps that drive and maintain the potentiation. In this review we critically discuss the data underlying each of the steps. As will become clear, some of these steps are more firmly grounded than others, and we provide suggestions as to how the evidence supporting these steps can be strengthened or, based on the new data, be replaced. Although the journey has been a long one, the prospect of having a detailed cellular and molecular understanding of learning and memory is at hand.