Incels (involuntary celibates) are an online subculture of men who form their identity around their perceived inability to form sexual or romantic relationships. Many incels have a nihilistic perspective of the self, strong misogynistic beliefs about women, and importantly share the view that society hates them. This novel study explores the gaps between incels' perceptions of themselves and what wider society actually thinks about them. Using survey data from 135 incels and 449 non-incels, we found that incels overestimated how much society blames them for their problems and underestimated how much society sympathizes with them. Notably, however, higher levels of feminist identity among non-incels were linked to decreased sympathy and heightened animosity towards incels. Both incels and non-incels alike, regardless of feminist identity, agreed that incels pose a danger to themselves. Further analysis revealed that only incels' perception of societal blame was predicted by loneliness, which suggests that incel identity itself exerts a more pervasive influence on their distorted beliefs about society than individual differences in loneliness. We discuss how real-world hostility towards incels may partially fuel their distorted views about society and how our findings might inform therapeutic approaches to promote healthier social integration.